First entry, woo! I feel fulfilled already... fucking ecstatic... I swear! ;)  Ah well, just browse around I guess and see whats going on.

Course, could use some advice I guess.  I'm looking at buying a new car, a brand new 2005 GTO! Ends up though, the best rate I can get on it is $486 dollars a month... and about $160 a month insurance... for 6 years. Considering I net about $1550 a month, I don't know. A nice car, would be a nice change... but you think its worth it? C'mon, throw me a bone!

Not too shabby, two buds from work have been on a business trip the last couple o days, kinda nice actually not having them around... those type of peeps that just grind on your nerves a little after they've said the same lewd line or joke the 5000th time.

No work out for me today, I almost feel guilty... almost. Test drove the 2005 GTO I'm gonna buy this weekend! Aww yea, still debating actually whether I'm going to get it or not, but I put a couple of applications in for a part time gig that would help pull in some extra spending cash.

Otherwise, kinda in a rut. No idea what to do... do I get the car and stick around wisconsin for another couple o years in a somewhat dead end (but decentish pay) job? Do I study up for college and attend that for the next 4-5 years only to get a "career" once I'm done and pay it all off again. Or do I head out to California and take my chances out there? Or do I join the military and see what happens there? ech... maybe I ought to do some kinda poll, kinda realityish (yuch by the way), but hey, might be fun... then I can blame all of you bastards if it doesn't turn out right! Woohoo! Eh... I'll put my money in the lotto tonight and worry about it tomorrow!

I feel so loved... that sister of mine, always threatening peeps with rusty knives to visit her siblings, what can ya say? Heheh, thanks!

So I'm buying a brand new car tomorrow, 400 horsepower of insane debt madness! Oh yes, I take that plunge into indentured servitude for a material thing, but its got 400 HP! GOOD GRAVY I SAY! Don't worry bro, I'm still keeping that California option open, so don't be surprised if I call you up still amigo! But I won't be a burden, I'll make sure to either sell off the car, declare bankruptcy, or save up enough to support myself out there... or do all three!

Sooo... I think padre got a buyer for the house, an actual buyer that is, not just some window shopping lout. Which means it'll be time to snag my own place and pay bills? what nonsense is this? I'm going to actually have to save money... fuck. Ah well, put some applications in for some part time jobs that I can work on the side, hopefully I snag the restuarant one.

I'm too good of a friend I decided, I'm house sitting for a ol amigo of mine and taking care of his dog.  A pug/beagle, kind of funky but cute as hell... and loves kisses... ech. You can love your dog, just don't love your dog. Doh! But this kid I've done too much for, sneak his trashed ass self out of a ditch in a military fort, move him twice... once at midnight after he broke up with his girlfriend on a Tuesday, loaned him money, good gravy I even helped him get his new job (why o why, I'll never know). This monkey better help me move, or good god... I'll... do something horrible. Probably buy him a beer at the pub, ah well! Heheh, PS, nice to meet all of you who are friends of Johnny's (Jen for those unsophisticated type, heheh, just joshing ya).

Oh yes... I did it... I bought that beast!  After waking and walking/feeding/playing with a dog at 4:00am, then sitting at work for 7ish hours frettin like a mad man, and about 100ish miles of driving and conducting business all withing about 2 and a half hours... it is mine!

400 horsepower, massive torque, insane computer more complex than my 1 year old top o the line Hewlet Packard, a spiffy ass sound system, blue (oh yes, I said blue) leather interior... egads, after driving it and showing it off at the local spot, I had to sit down for about an hour! Drove around on the small highways and straight shot back roads to see what I could get out of it... and had it up to over 125 in little over 10 seconds, holy monkey shit! Fauking insane!!!! Then the roads scared the shit outta me too much and I had to slow it down, hopefully I get it out on the interstate one day when its bare and no ones around.

All this car and fun and what did I do, promise my friend I'd sit his dog... its like having a throng of gorgeous women frolick outside a window who want to slather you in oily... oil and make you their oily pimp of love... but you can't because your visiting your granpappy.  Good gravy whats wrong with me?

PS, I'll post pics of it (a tad of a show off, but can you really blame me?) as soon as I can!

For the rest of the random pictures, click here!

I have seen the top of the mountain, and it is good!

Had a weird night last night.  Got a call from a friend, said she had just broke up with her boyfriend and was having a party, come on out.  Soo... after debating what kind of party she was having, hoping that maybe this would be a little fun, I dress up and go meet her out at the bar.  Her... and two friends she kinda dragged with, in a empty tavern.  I just had to sigh and hope for the best. 

Guess her "ex" is entering the military, against her wishes, and broke up with her, but wanted her to wait for him until after he got back... a tad effed up, no? Sooo... they wanted to bar hop to watch the race (which by the way, I have no idea how you call taking left turns in a circle for 200 laps in a car a sport... sorry, just had to spout that), we ended up going to only one other bar... and a country one at that.  We're flirting back and forth a little bit, just regular stuff, having fun, when she pulls me over and says "I just want to let you know, that I've always had feelings for you, even when I was going out with "so-and-so", but I'm not really ready for sex yet.  But I do want this to go somewhere, I just don't want you to think I'm on a rebound because I broke up with him and am using you to make me feel better." ..... what could I do? I hardly ever see her, haven't seen her for probably 2 monthish, and the first time we go out for a drink she lays that down? Yowsa... I kinda wanted to say "Whoa, slow down chick!", but she was feeling so bad right there I didn't want to let her down any more than she had been. Kind of shitty but what do you do in something like that?  I like her but one, I'm 21 and she's about 29, which really doesn't matter to me age wise, its just the fact that she wants to settle down and I'm just starting to pull shit together in my life, just hitting my prime.  Two, she's got two kids, which I love kids... but good god, I am so not ready to even think about being some sort of father figure at all yet! And three... how can I do this with no sex as a down payment, ya know? Doh, right, just kidding about that last part! Put the knives down... I'm fragile! Soo... I'm kinda lost and hoping I get no other calls today... I really rather not be that post to lean on anymore, I'm too damn exhausted.

Just got off the phone with that girl again... lets just call her "Cindy" for the sake of names.  Man, I'm gonna say it, maybe regret it later, but what the fauk girls? Its probably just me, but good god, it seems like every chick I know (with the exception of me sis) is out for blood!

Take for example, numero uno, "Cindy" just broke up with her boyfriend.  Now how he did it, was kinda bogus, wanted to break up with her for only the time he was in the military, but when he came back they'd hook back up. Right, dumb choice amigo.  Now, he's having second thoughts about this and what the hell he did, but she on the other (with every right in a sense) is hell bent on breaking it up. Ok, that her choice, but not only is she so insistent on that, she's gonna take every last dime in their joint account, take their entire security deposit for their house, and kick him out of the house for the remainder of the time she has it... god knows thats probably only the tip of the iceburg (or berg?).

Numero dos, a chick I work with... lets call her "Shaniqua" (Heheh, this naming stuff is fun!), she broke up with her boyfriend who treated her like shit to begin with, didn't even like being with him and went into a total pit after it was all off.  Now, I can kinda understand that all of a sudden she's on her own again, even if he was sort of a shitty guy, but good god, snap out of it! All men were assholes then, even us who tried to help her out (and not just get in her pants mind you, genuinely help out).  But what a bitch, if it wasn't one thing it was another... and when we did actually cadre to what she wanted, she'd blow us off and be like "I was only kidding" or something of the like! C'mon, to come from what she did and then get treated like a princess just to pull that shit, a simple thanks would sufficed!

Numero tres, my mother has gone off the deep end.... reference my sista.  Love me madre to death mind you, just wouldn't mind moving 2000 miles away either.

Maybe its me... am I wrong to think that these girls are kinda harsh? Maybe I'm just too naive and expect the best outta everyone.  I dunno, just wish I could find someone a little more laid back and fun.  Anyone out there single and fun?.... anyone out there not single and fun?? Throw me a freakin bone here! Heheh, ah well... tomorrow's another day.

Kids being kidnapped and killed by their own parents, politicians throwing tantrums because the other side doesn't agree with them, suicide bombers deciding to end their lives and taking anyone they can with them just because, religions falling out of light and into bueracracy, scams being an honest form of work, retiring at age 65 from fifteen dollar an hour jobs on average, child molestation trials turned into entertainment reality tv, nuclear weapons on the fore front of rivalries again, mountain summits that've remained for hundreds upon thousands of years are soon (in a few years) to be no more, population sky rocketing and agriculture shrinking, one country "liberated" in the name of freedom while 70+ worse off nations crumble into destruction, massive epidemics slaughtering millions, incompeteant and illiterate leaders preaching about how incompetent and illiterate the education systems are, more money spent on rebuilding hostile nations than on restoring regions ravaged by natural disasters at home, ...

And here I sit broke, buried under a mound of finances, with the only thing to show for it is a speed demon outside which I can't afford in the first place, wondering like I have since I was a kid, when is it going to get better?  Just doesn't seem to be our day...

Forewarning... my sister is a shit head... but she's right... and if you've come to laugh... do so kindly, I'm fragile!

"Everytime I try to get out, they keep pulling me back in!"

Basically the sum of my life.  Things had been going better, pulled myself outta my horrible depression months ago, got into pretty decent shape, started getting better pay raises at work, started hitting the scene again.  Not so bad... so alas, what happens tonight... I finally get a speeding ticket.  Deserved in full.  But thats not what pisses me off, not that the fact that the cop pulled me over, I was well over the speed limit, and actually, the man let me off pretty light.  But what pisses me off is that I'm the nice guy who's obviously a push-over and will jump if anyone says jump. 

Two chicks I know came over tonight, just a couple of friends, and they were in some weird ass mood and wanted to go road tripping. I just wanted to stay home, wash the car and chill for the night, but I know the one was going through a break up and I didn't want to put em down so I said sure.  We get in and cruise around for a bit, and then they decide that they want to tour the countryside.  I was like "Well..." and after they pestered a smidge I said alright.  So we go out in the country, and they're smoking in the brand new car, but I let them, not wanting to come off as an uptight shmuck.  Then they want to stop for beer... I said no, and they pleaded (I knew I wasn't going to have any at all), alas, fucking me, I stop for beer, they pick up a six pack and we head back out.  We're way outta the way of civilization, and hit a four lane highway in the middle of no where, and started to go down it.  The one chick no sooner than says "Careful, cops are always on this road" when we pass one going the opposite way... i was speeding a little bit, about 63 in a 55, nothing horrible.  BUT... they have open beers they are drinking, and even though I haven't touched a drop, Wisconsin has a "Not a drop", or something to that degree, law which pretty much states that if you have any open intoxicant in the vehicle, its already a massive fine and big trouble, close to a DUI.  Soo... I punch the gas before the guy has even turned around (I had already seen the break lights and new it was coming) and take off.  Now, I could've gotten away, because when he had just begun making the U Turn, we were already hitting 100mph, but then we passed another sitting on the side of the road. And I saw him pull out... and we were already hitting 120... (mind you, this is totally unlike me, yes I speed, and had ANYONE else been on the road [innocent drivers] I wouldn't have even tried this) and I saw him trying to catch up but we just kept pulling away. 

Then my intellect kicked in after the adrenaline and I thought "This isn't the fucking Duke Boys trying to get away... the side of the road cop already has my plates I'm sure on his dash mounted camera, so even if I do get away... they'll just find out later tonight who I am.  And second... I'm the only blue 2005 GTO within a 100 mile radius, not to hard to figure out.  So I went a little faster just to get to the first covered driveway to pull off and let them pull me over, this way they could toss the bottles out... alas... the first drive is way in the middle of an empty field... super.  I pull over and they both pull in behind and a few seconds later another pulls in behind coming from the opposite direction. Woo fucking hoo.  So the girls hide their bottles while I just sit and stare in the mirror thinking to myself "I just wanted to stay home, wash the car and look for a second job... and here I am, with two fucking ditzes, being chased by half the county, pretty much facing a revoked license, no shot what so ever in every driving something nice again, and if the guy's an asshole, be sent to jail. Super."

Well, the guy asked me how fast I thought I was going, I said "80?"

"No"

"85?"

"More."

A suprised look in my face and a shocked voice (you gotta play the part pretty much) "90?"

"You were going 99 when you passed me."

Truth of the matter, I was going well over 100 miles an hour, about 115 at least I think... so somehow I got off there, or the guy let me off.

He took my license and seemed like a decent cop anyway, didn't bust my balls about anything, just did his job pretty much.  Then this other shmuck came over, and with one of those sarchastic ass tones... "So, you just got this car, huh?"

And right then I knew that I just had to play the meek guy to this one because he was a power tripper, "Yeah, last Friday."  Then I chipped in "This is my first time trying to stretch her out, seeing how much she really had." And he smiled and said "Well, you can be sure that your license is pretty much toast."

Super, thank you and having a fucking nice day as well, Occifer Hitler Monkey Man!  The girls were pretty much freaked out as the held the bottles between their legs and hoped they didn't spill.  Then the previous nice guy cop came over and gave me his summation of the whole ordeal.

429 dollar fine... 6 points reduction in the license... 15 day suspension.

I was let off... wholly shit was I let off!  No evasion of police, no reckless driving, no dangerous excessive speeding, and so on and so forth.  He asked if I had any question and I asked directions back to town since I still had no idea where we were. 

Sooo... it could've been worse, but could've been avoided entirely if I wasn't such a nice fucking guy trying to please everyone and make sure everyone's having a good time.  Fuck, I shoulda just gone to Cali.  Anyone wanna chip into the "Dumb Kid Needs Money for Ticket?" Foundation?  C'mon, its for the child'en

Whew!!

Well, thats all.  Figured I'd say something... m'kay, that wore me out, think I'll go chill a while!

I've met this chick... and for all of you lads (and lass's :) ) who've been keeping up... her name is "Cindy".  Yes, the crazy psycho chick that I've beent trying to avoid has grown on me... and I've started something which I'm really kinda shakey about the whole thing.  I've been totally honest with her, telling her that I might be moving to Cali. (PS... I gotta talk to you about that bro), that I'm not ready to be any sort of father figure right now (she has two child'en, one 2 year old boy and one 5 year old girl), and I'm not even sure if what we're doing will work out right, cause I had turned her away for about 5 days straight.

Aside from what I've said about her in the past, she really is nice deep down.  At least so far, hopefully she really is that way and this doesn't turn out to be some sort of shinanigan! Heheh... shinanigan... I like that word... shin-an-i-gan... right, anway.  Sooo... we'll see, I'm sure I'll be asking "Why did you people let me do that, what kind of friends are you! WHY!?!? Gha-ha-haa... nobody loves me..." BUT, until then, m'tay.

Alright, thanks for the advice amigos... spent the weekend with her, she fell head over heels madly in love with me... and I wasn't even close to that, so I broke it off... sorta.  Well, more like I keep saying no and she's still hanging on that something will happen later. 

Ah well, anyway nothing too new here.  Trying to find a second job... I'd never thought I'd be turned down for a waiter or clerk job, but I guess I just don't have the knack. Obviosly I can run one of the biggest major military platforms in the country, readying 4000+ soldiers every mob for two huge Operations and keep track/issue/maintain/etc of 18+ million dollars worth of military equipment... but I can't serve a platter full of potatoes part time, I'm so confused!!!  Basically looking for a second job here, but no luck so far.  I'll have to snag an apartment in a little over a month and WHAT??? Become responsible... what is up with this shit?!?! Fo shnizzle.... right, I'llllll just shut up now. :p

Otherwise, hope all is going well with everyone who stops by!.... kewl beans... alright, see you kiddies later!

Soo... shibby day at work yesterday and today.  I got called into the office where I had a second "orientation" about my punctuality.  Its true I was late, still irked me though.  First time I had been late was about 7 minutes late, and I wrote down that I started at a quarter after 7am, just like the policy goes.  But they scolded me because I failed to call in to inform them that I was going to be late!!! Come-fucking-on! 7 minutes?!?

Then a couple days ago I had slept in accidentally, just set my alarm for 5pm instead of 5am, and a buddy called me and asked where I was at 7:30... so after cussing for about thirty seconds straight, I dialed my bosses number and apologized like nuts and rushed in.  Apologized some more once I got there and figured it was all ok by their appearances and actions.  Then a couple of days later (yesterday) they called me in and scolded me... glad they could sit and brew on it all that time.  Then one of my higher ups who I thought was a buddy was in the meeting, and said to the bosses that he didn't buy the whole "set my alarm wrong" story, pretty much made me look like an ass for whatever effing reason!!! Ach... then today they fired one of the best workers in the place, if not the best worker there.  Why? Because of some stupid punctuality type deal.  Man, I just don't get it.  How can people be so cruel sometimes, maybe I'm just too naive, but hey, whatever.  Just had to vent a little bit.

Talked to me hermana yesterday, pretty much looking towards moving to california.  Whew hoo!  Still lots of planning but I am sooo needing to get outta this place now.

Kind of off point, but if you're reading this and you've got some time, check out

Just went and saw Batman Begins with me hermana, sweeet!  I dig all the Batman movies, c'mon, who can't?!  The tricked out cars, the cool gadgets, the villains!  Good gravy!

Right, thats all!  Go see the Batman... you know you wanna!

I've been meaning to write update this a couple o' times now, but every time I wrote, I wrote some sort of epic novel that would even challenge War and Peace.  The last couple of weeks been kinda hectic lately.  Psycho chick is still psycho chick, just took me a month longer to figure it out than everyone else.  Work has been a challenge to go to for every single day now, yech.  The house has sold, so I'm truely kind of going off on my own now, and for starters I'm moving 3000(ish) miles away to California.  While I have my bro, its still kind of funky because One) its so far from where I grew up and what I know... Two) No offense bro, but I feel like I'm leaving one dead job and jumping into another.  I know he and his wife can get me jobs out there, but they won't be something I'm happy with... and I'm already 21, the longer I wait to do something the harder it will be to do it.  Alas, I've no idea what I want to do!  Except move to some remote little island and spend the rest of my days writing on the beaches, is that really so much to ask for?

Sooo... I've been playing with an idea for awhile here.  And that is joining the military.  Now by all means, I'm no military sort.  GI Joes when I was a kid... and thats about it.  Plus, watching movies like "Full Metal Jacket", "Platoon", and "Saving Private Ryan"... kind of turned me off.  Especially "Full Metal Jacket", great movie... but...

"Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress." - Gunnery Segeant Hartman

... Heheh, yeah... I'd be crying in a heart beat probably.  That plus since I work at a Fort helping run a Central Issue Facility (aka CIF), I get to see alot of the kind of people.  First off, A CIF is where all the soldiers go to be issued their gear before going overseas to Iraq, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, or one of the other Middle East jewels there for all you Civy's out there ;) .  Everything but their weapon and ammo.  You name it, clothes, canteens, ammo cases, Outer Tactical Vests, Small Arms Protective Inserts, etc etc etc.  We issue to nearly 90% Army Reserve and National Guard... now, no offense to anyone who's in these respective services, but I've seen a whole slew of some real "interesting" people come through.  One guy actually said to me as we made small talk while fitting his body armor "What a great country we live in!  Where else can I get a bad ass gun, sent to kill a shitload of sand niggers, and actually get paid for it."... some black guy from Alabama, yeah.... real interesting.  Mind you again, not everyone was even near like this, I guess its just the weird ones that stick out and dig their way into your memory.

But I thought of the Air Force.  Because I don't think I'm an infantry man,  I love insane speed (not that my sister could vouch for that or anything ;P ), and I'm all about high tech gadgetry!  I figured maybe I'd do that for a year at least and get my head sorted.  Who knows, maybe I'll love it and make a career out of it, and if don't but figure out what I want to do (college is a sure thing I want to do regardless, just what exactly I'm not sure), they literally have tons of funding for tuition and the such.  I do have what I'd like to do (other than the military) kinda narrowed down... Biology, Micro Biology, Genetics, Philosophy, Literature, Archiving, Computer Programming, Graphic Design, Art, Linguistics, Engineering, Genetic Engineering, Bio-Chemistry (I'm kind of a science buff if you can't tell ;) ) Architecture... somewhere right around there, heheh.

But this is just an idea I'm playing with, may not go anywhere (Don't fret on it bro, I won't leave you hanging).  Guess we'll see what happens from here.  Hasta luego kiddies!

Egads, what a lovely day.  Heat index hit about 106 across the Fort today, yummy.  Wouldn't be so bad if the warehouses we worked in didn't date back to 1936!

Talked to an Air Force recruiter Saturday, gave me the low down on it all.  Still kind of scary, don't know if I'm the military type, but it would be such a good path.  I've just got this bad feeling with my bad temper (not really bad, it just goes off after a lot of stress, which I've had lots of stress lately, and I've got to admit, it might be a problem) and somewhat opinionated... opinions that I'd hate it and end up digging a hole for myself there.  Probably just scared because I've seemed to dig so many holes in my life here that even a rabid gopher family would be green with envy!

Crazy seniorita chick still persistent as ever, partly my fault because I cadre to it somewhat, I should just be an ass and never talk to her again, but, I just don't want to be an ass.  Ah well, all I can do is hope that some lost bushmen find her and take her back to Madagascar to sacrifice to the great Pygmie King... or something to the liking.  Heheh

Did have fun Friday though.  Me and a buddy went to a newly opened strip club way out in the boon docks.  I figured the gals would be nasty, toothless rednecks, and I was proven wrong!  They weren't by all means Showgirls (except a couple), but they were pretty tasteful and fun!  I don't mean fun in a slobbering, raging horomones sorta way, just fun!  After they were done dancing, even while they were dancing, they'd come over and we just sat back and cracked jokes and flirted and just had fun in general!  They bought us drinks, we tipped em ones on stage.  Met a couple of other guys I had gone to school with a long time ago and we all just hanged out like an old group of friends.  Most fun I've had in a really loong time!  Its nice when something totally washes away your worries and you don't have to worry about hangovers or downers later, just good times.

Bought a new book too, decided to make another valient effort and dive into my literary interests with hope of sparking some inspiration again.  Its called the Tale of Genji, supposed to be the first novel of all time.  I thought Beowulf was, but maybe that was the first recorded history, I don't remember now.  Pretty interesting as of right now, especially being about a millenium old.  Good gravy those crazy Chinese dynasties are groovy jive turkeys!

I feel like Cameron off of Ferris Bueller's Day off...

"When Cameron was in Egypts land, let my Cameron goooo..."

Not to shabby of a day, till lunch... we ordered pizzas (just talking makes me want to spew... bleh) and ice cream cake... I ate a lil... mkay a lot... almost... bleh.

Now I'm figting off the beginnings of a fever... slowly got up to 98.5 (me and my sisters normal temps are about 97.8, don't know why), and then within about 20 minutes shot up to over 100... I'm trying to drink cold water... to no avail... I've got the fan blasting and about to turn the A/C down pretty low (sorry pops, hope it doesn't over blow your electric! Heheh, meh), and doused myself in a cold towel while making funny degrading voices of Indians in front of the mirror... I'm so ashamed.

So, this is my farewell, as because my sickness probably won't be the death of me... just my boss tomorrow when I call in when I have no time off... Alas, Garret... I knew him well... and have dibs on thy blue GTO stallion!  Vroom!

Mkay, I luv you bubye now!

Alas, I'm still sick.  Threw up this morning finally (Whew hew!  I know you guys really wanted to know that! :p Hey, if I'm gonna be sick I'm dragging everyone I can with me!), fever has gone down, still feel warm though.  And totally dizzy, my head just keep lolling around like a drunken babboon trying to follow the trail of a fire fly having epileptic siezures.  God bless similes, you know you love em!

Drug myself outta bed this morning and into work.  I've no more time left for sick and/or vacation days (I'm such a slacker, what can I say), and we just had a big speech where if you want a day of Leave Without Pay, you must have it pre-approved or its an unexcused abscence.  And since I've worked half way up the golden ladder of warnings (First one is a Written Verbal warning... really, if all of business is conducted with oxymorons, I can totally rule the corporate world with and Iron Fist!  Who's with me?!?  We'll pillage their offices and claim the women for our own, then feast on a slew of vending snacks! Graah!)

And let me tell you what, anger really kills the symptoms for a bit!  Whilest driving to work, of course I get stuck behind a long line of cars going 45ish in a 55ish zone.  Sooo... I can see the lead car, about 6 car lengths ahead... and nothing is going on, no oncoming cars, no one riding each others asses... just a guy driving 45 while backing up traffic... and no one passes him.  So after about 10 seconds of waiting to see if someone wants to make a move, I scream out "Hi ho Silver, Away!"  and blaze by all of them in my Blue Stallion!  And oddly felt better for a smidge bit o time.  An asshole move, perhaps... but smart?....... eh, no, ahem.

Got to work, 2 minutes late... whew... s'alright, I called the boss and said I'd be a half hour late (threw up on myself and had to clean up before I left, mmmm... more details to satiate your minds!).  Kind of irked then because I was thinking of how stupid this was because here I was, horribly sick, and coming to work because if I didn't want to get a three day suspension because the time wouldn't have been approved, but now everyone else will get sick and have to take time off, whether they time or not as well.  And all that kept ringing in my ears were my bosses words (nice guy, a little too corporate for me though, but he's a manager, what choice does he have... I suppose) "Is it right? Probably not, but it is fair."  He said that the day our really cool, best working girl got fired for minute punctuality problems... see, another paradox, egads.

So they ask how I am, and I tell 'em I'm running a fever, my bowels don't proccess nutton right, I feel as though I'm about to throw up, I'm dizzy, red spots are busting out (really strange, looks like someone assailed under my eyes with a needle, stabbing a hundred times) otherwise I'm feeling peachy.  My one boss just gives me a blank stare and says, "Why the hell did you come to work then" as he slowly backs away as if I'm a panther ready to pounce on balding, portly gnome with a limp... grrr... heheh.  So I give him the whole unexcused absence shpeel and he just kinda of half heartedly shakes his head, "Noo, noo... if you're sick, your sick.  Thats, um, something you can't prevent."  Right... real convincing, I know had I not come in I woulda been on a one way trip (almost) to the unemployment line.  Sooo, I go talk to my supervisor who deals with all the personell problems, a real senile bitch, stuck up... 56 years old, outta shape, but still wears tight ass clothing like she was 20... effing fugly!  I try to look for the best in everyone, but this is one of the few people who I can't see anything good or beautiful about!  God I'm vicious today! Sorry.  Tell her I'm sick, repeat the whole unexcused absense spheel, and she just looks at me.  You know that way, when you know they're just judging you and want to say something nasty?  Ech, she mumbled ok and I took off, not before leaving a present outside the door... eh, not on purpose, she just got me riled up again that my stomach couldn't take it.

Thats it, I'm moving to the Sottish Highlands where I can live in a hut, walk out on a bueatiful view of the valleys and raise lambs who won't judge me *sob*... or Californita I guess.

Now I'm at home, bored outta mi cabasa.  Ahh... much better now.  Thanks for bearing through my rantings and ravings, hope they entertained you as much as the Muppet Show Chef does!  Hasta luego kiddies!

Ay, life es muy loco, but I'm still here and loving it!  As should all of you, you crazy kids you!  I am so glad that I've taken that crazy step of self-responsibility (if not self-destruction, we've yet to see... but god damn, it'll be fun!) and decided to blow this crazy popsicle stand and head for the mountains, and over them.  I swear, I hear one more country song and I'll... dooo something mundane probably... but with all intention of craziness on the mind! Heheh  ;)

Crazy chick tried to commit suicide while me and two of her friends were at her house.  She took a bottle of pills (well, there were only 10 in there to begin with), and they were low dose sleep pills (no idea of the perscription name).  I knew she'd be ok, but I didn't want to be the shmoe who said "Ah whateva seniorita, just walk it off"... as much as that sounds cold, if you knew this drama queen, you'd understand! Aw yeah, you know the kind I'm talking about!  "Na ah, bitch, I's seen him first, he's my man!" with the whole neck swivel thing going on... well, something close to that.  Anyway... ahem... so we drive her to the hospital and she's acting all delerious and, well... stupid to say the least.  Once inside, the nurses fix her up in the run-o-da-mill hospital gettup... half open robe thingys, IV needles arm gizmo's for quick IV insertion, etc. etc. etc... (I am so technical, its scary... gizmo's n thingys n wutch-ya-mu-call-em's, thank god for English studies).  I stay with her as she's whimpering and coming to from her crazy over dose saying "Please Garret, don't leave me.  Never leave me..." I just agreed and said ok while the Agitated Nazi Acting Coach on a Caffiene Binge inside shouted "Nein Frau! Vas is dis oarrible play you lay on mine feet!  I feel durty, like I've been tooched by a grotesque bobboon dressed like a little gurl!  I shall go vomit now... ach!".... don't you just hate that feeling?

After a bit, I went and asked the nurse what the verdict was.  She said "Well, theres only a hint of the drug in her system, the rest is not going to take hold.  But she does have a very high alcohol level."

and I'm like  "But she says her stomach's hurting?"

and she's like "Well, yeah, she just downed a bottle of pills on an empty stomach, of course it will hurt a little bit."

and I'm like "Oh... yeah, er, ahem... right."

and she's like "Hmm."

and then I'm like "Yeah, whateva!"

And... well, ok... so I didn't really say that.  But I head back into the room and she's still rolling around like a floppy fish outta water, so I break the news nonchalantly... and it takes about 20 seconds to settle in as she rolls in the bed still... then she kind turns from "Oh, I'm so sick, I'm dying, look-a-me!" tooo...."This fucking hospital.  What the fuck is its problem.  Mutha fucka!" Good gravy I say, so scandalous is my mouth today! Such profanity, I'm shocked! Heheh... I'm a dork, and I know it.

So... to try to keep this story more short than its ending up being (all this and I can't write even a prolouge to a  novel still, its a vicious irony I tell you), she mouths off to a cop and get chaptered.  Well, she was going to get chaptered anway but still, pissing of the police guy trying to help you isn't the wisest effing move, Sherlock!  So she ends up going to a large town about 30 miles away and gets locked in their Psycho-Ward for the next 4 days.  But do the phone calls end??? NOOO!  She still calls me from there, just not as often.  Good gravy I wish I had that sort of dedication and persistence!

Otherwise, wasn't a bad weekend.  Helped move out a lot of the house with my pops, brother and my nephew.  Was fun playing with the little guy, he's only two years old I think.  Spoiled, but fun.  Now I'm just waiting for August 15th to roll around when me and me hermana (tattooedjen) take off.  Kind of sucks that I've got to find a place to stay for three weeks while the house sells and I wait for the departure date, but hey, its three weeks right?  Eddzachary.

Alright, thats all, hasta luego all, hope you had a cool 4th of July!

If there is one thing I like to do and don't get to very often anymore, is people watch.  Admit it, you know you like doing it too!  Sitting in a parking lot, maybe waiting for a buddy who ran in real quick to snag something, and just gazing at people, figuring out whats going through their heads and what their lives are like.

Did that Friday night, kind of weird though this time.  We were having a going away party for a friend of ours at work who's from Guam and was heading back after a 4 week stay with us.  He had come the year before for Annual Training (he's in the Army), but this year he was retiring so we probably wouldn't get to see him again, therefor the big shin-dig!  Course, at our place, someone buying a new pair of jeans is cause enough to throw a party! Heheh.

Anyway, one of our buddies, Rory, couldn't stay very long because he had the kids that night on a last minute notice.  So everyone was kind of disappointed, because he is the party animal.  Kind of funny actually, because everyone was irked that he couldn't stay, but if he gets drunk (which he inevitably does), everyone can't wait for him to pass out or go home.  So I "volunteered" after getting razed a little bit to go with him to get the kids and bring them all back. 

He's got three kids, and they are all insanely smart.  His son play guitar that compares to some of the legends out there, and he's only 13 I think.  His elder daughter is 13 as well, reading works like the original copies of The Illiad, A Mid Summer's Night Dream, and other complex works... because she wants too!  And his youngest daughter is about the same, more into sciences and what not though than literature.  But... they are, in my opinion, spoiled.  Not that they get every toy that they want, but they just run all over their dad like nothing.  They yell at him and demand of him, never said please or thank you the whole time. No respect man!  Good gravy!  And its one of those things you want to feel sorry for the guy, but he does nothing about it, so why feel sorry when he brings it upon himself? (Hmm... sound familiar sis? Heheh... shuddup.)

But there was one point when I was sitting there that I felt like I was there in a third person perspective.  You know that feeling?  When nobody knows you're there and goes about doing their own things. thats when the whole odd feeling observation kicked in.  Rory sat on the couch watching his son take a lesson from a great guitarist.  Watching him, you could tell he was exhausted, not just tired... but more like "How did I get here?", at the same time, he was feeling nostalgic, being a major roady in the 70's and seeing some of biggest stars out there, but now left behind and working a 9-5 job.  And also feeling proud of his son, for being able to rip chords like the big leaguers did.

And then his son, just had an expression as his father just kind of stared at him, as if saying "What the hell, thats creepy."  And he wasn't really staring, just getting lost in his thoughts.  But then the son went back and concentrated on his lesson, getting lost in the tunes of AC/DC and Led Zepplin.

Then Rory's eldest daughter, the book enthusiast, had begun drawing in a sketch book of hers, something she was really into, using different strokes, different style of drawing pencils, shading and bending an image, which in the end, you could tell she was impressed and proud of what she had made.  She tried to show her father but he shunned her off, still lost in his own thoughts while pretending to concentrate on his son's lesson.  She went back to drawing but didn't have the enthusiasm like before.  So she stopped, put it all away quietly, then went into the kitchen where she pulled out her violin and delicately played upon it as to not interfere with the guitar lesson going on.  Getting lost in her own world.

I was so glad they let me drive back, I had to go about 90+, sooner we got to where we were going, the sooner I could get away from that.  It was sad watching them all go off into their own little worlds like that, I guess because our family has always been together somewhat, but now... we're all going of into our own little worlds as well, family has kind of fallen apart.  But at least its happened when we've all grown up, and not when we were still children.  Eh, it was probably a fluke, they probably really do stuff together more often than not, but I still have a hard time trying to convince myself of that.  Ah well.

Must move out next week, and I really don't have a place to stay, kind of sucks.  Rory said I could stay at his house, but after that strange ordeal, I don't think I really could stand it.  Tom said I could stay with him, but his house is kind of funky and he lives about an hour and 15 minutes away from town.  Then theres my Grandma... eeeee, she lives 45 minutes away and, well... shes a grandma!  Good gravy, I don't think I could take three weeks of reminescing and sitting at the kitchen table for hours on end trying to find something to make chit chat. 

I'll just live outta my car I think... costs about the same as a large 3 bedroom apartment on a lake anyway, might as well get my money outta it! It'll only be three weeks anyway... maybe, if my sis doesn't change the final date of August 15th!  I think anyone who reads this needs to go over to TattooedJen's (my sis in question!) and yell at her!  Be like "How can you leave your poor brother hanging like that, the boys living out of his car! What kind of sister are you!" or something to the liking. Heheh, alright, hasta luego kiddies!

Just went to a friends page that I met here on Mindsay, and she's pretty cool... well, pretty and cool, heheh.  She having some tough times, times that alot of us know of.  And I thought of my problems and life, and of others problems and lives, and a song popped into my head before I drug myself down...

As life gets longer, awful feels softer,

And if feels pretty soft to me.

And if it takes shit to make bliss,

Well I feel pretty blissfully.

If life's not bueatiful without the pain,

well then I'd rather never ever see bueaty again.

Well as life get's longer, awful feels softer,

And it feels pretty soft to me!

Hang in there buddies!

You too chick!

You know things are bad when even the most modest of animals just can't take it anymore!  Good gravy, the pasture fences are closing in on the poor lads!

Mourn the sheep.

Last words heard were "If I see one more lonely shepard with velcro gloves on, I swear I'll do it!"

Alas, you can love your animals... just don't love your animals!  Doh! :)

... yeah, I'm bored.  Heheheh

Met Cindy again, thought maybe for once we'd finally be pass the love.  Not so bad a start, friendly and all that.  But slowly, it creeped upon us again.  She broke down... I really feel like I'm shredding her to peices.  Perhaps its just me, perhaps I am too naive when it comes to finding love, but I just can't find the same feelings she has though, still...

I had her in my arms, and for awhile as we kissed I felt... well, something.  Not love, but a want.  I'm sure I held her out of lust, but still, something just twisted inside.  After a bit she had become happy of a sort, even though I told her that it I didn't feel the same for her as she for me.  She said she understood, whether or not it registered in truth is beyond me.

Taking her downtown to drop her off... that song came on, "The Best of You"... and it sort of panged me.  I glanced at her, somewhat happy in her world, then to the lads n lasses outside, holding on to each other.  I just wish there was someone there that I could feel so passionate about, something that I could just grab and hold on to.  I felt left out, never feeling that with anyone I've ever been with.  I felt sick as she reached over to hug me and give a kiss when we reached her drop off... I think I'm too romantic for my own good, slim to none out there it seems.

The mood... oddly lost

The tunes... "The Best of You" - Foo Fighters

I feel like a kid again going through angst once more, heheh.  Ah well.

I'm such a sap, heheh.  We've got a new lass who started working with us couple weeks ago, and already we've hit it off, not to the other coworker boys likings.  Heheh, hey, when you're as damn cool as me, can you really resist a dude like me?  Heheh, ahem... right, I'll shut it now. :)

Course, my wee curse never seems to falter.  She has one kid, and she's married.  Unhappily married it seems, but married none-the-less.  I swear if I ever meet a single girl that I can hit it off with instantly I'll die!  26 and a degree majoring in Marine/Micro Biology.  Muy bien!  Ah well, too bad I'm moving.

Speaking of that, my totally cool (and trendy, full of uber fashion) sista-in-law whom I'm moving in with in Cali called today and found me a job!  I hadn't even sent them my resume yet, nor any applications!  Course, working high up in Human Resources in a large company hub kinda helps too, heheh.  I was so psyched, then she told me what it was.

Temporary, which is fine, just some dinero to earn my keep while I'm there and 'till I find something else.  Then she said it was a warehouse job... and the psyche level dropped a couple o' notches, but still pretty cool.  Not that its probably not a bad job or anything, but I was hoping for something a lil different.  Now I'm jumping from one warehouse gig to another, not that I'm complaining, just kinda shot down my high hopes.  Course, I also thought I'd win the lottery before I left and would be able to just move out into a small island near New Zealand... is that too much to ask for, I mean really, c'mon people!  Heheh

Now I'm off to procrastinate moving one more day by chillin out and making sure that some drinks up the Bailey's surplus thats stocked the shelves at the local gas, good gravy, those people had children they need to feed... so I drink so that others may live!  Yes!  I'm a lush, probably... but a dork??....... yes.  Heheh, hasta luego kids!

I wrecked my new 2005 GTO!  Thats right, I did it... myyyyyy way!

Totally killed it, had fun, but wrecked it none-the-less!  No no, don't go away, lemme recount the traumitizing occurence for you (well, it was kinda fun, sorta... in that "Oh well, its done with now" sorta way!).

Let me set the theme for you... long day at work, working in a wooden 1940ish warehouse all day with 120%ish humidity, doing a full blown inventory on $20 million pesos worth of equipment.  Lovely.  Work ends, I blow that popsicle stand!  Get out on the highway and stuck behind some sod going 40 m.p.h. on a 55 limit highway.  The cars are backed up for about a mile+ behind us, and he keeps going up and down between 40 - 50 m.p.h. 

Him being three cars up, I wait for the other two to make their move and pass, alas, they don't.  So I decide to take the initiative since there were no oncoming cars in the opposite lane, and start passing.  When I get up to the van in question (the loco driver causing all the problems) I see his rear lights flashing, at first I thought maybe it was his hazards since he was going so slow, but then I decided it was probably his left turn signal... where he was going to turn I had no idea since I didn't see any driveways coming up.

Regardless, I fall back to my original spot to pull back in, and the pissed of people behind me had already filled my empty space.  So now here I am, traffic blocked up on my right, another car ahead about to turn left (where, I've no idea) and in the oncoming traffic lane... not the best of predicaments.  So I wait for him to turn... and he doesn't for a while... going 40 m.p.h. this entire time now.  So I panic finally, confused and pressured and try to pass this loco driver... well, he decides to turn left into a somewhat hidden driveway leading about 10 feet into a dead end of pine trees.

Well, had I gone straight, I would've T-Boned him, so I cut to the left and flew off of the shoulder/driveway entrance, avoiding him totally.  Went down into the ditch pretty smoothly, corrected and came back up onto the road... then, cutting across the road from left to right very sharply, I over corrected and slid sideways, my passenger side going about 50 m.p.h. up the highway.  Suddenly I slid back down into the ditch and spun out about 3-4 times (I cannot remember, my head's still spinning).  All I remember seeing real quick and saying as the world passed before my eyes at an insanely fast 360 degrees, "Road, ditch, trees... road, ditch, more trees... less road, same ditch, lots closer trees!"  then I stopped and was blinded by about 20 lbs of dust surrounding the car (too bad I had the windows open), trees resting about 5 feet away from my door.  And then I remember my first thought when I came to a complete rest (I know I didn't hit the poor saps in the van, so I wasn't worried about them)... was the car's motor was still running in a pristine sound when I left it run for a couple of seconds.  Muy Bien!

So thats what happened.  The lads in the van stopped and came to check up... three marines who were more interested in my car's shape than mine.  Commie mutha chuckers... just gotta love those boys who strut around like proud chickens, effin goons.  Filled out a police report and took off with a buddy who stopped to the local watering hole and had fun for the rest of the night.

Only 3 and a half weeks before I head for Cali!  God I can't wait!  Hasta luego kiddies... and don't pass lost Marines unless they're attached to a tank division, therefor having training on how to drive.  Not that I'm any better, but hell, it was pretty raunchy none the less.

PS... interesting fact while I was sliding sideways down the middle of the highway (a lil something I laughed about later) was that I did not have my life flash before my eyes, nor did I scream and worry about dieing, but I worried about how much this was going to cost to fix my car up.  HA!  Not materialistic at all... ech, I need another drink! :)

Packing everything up today, the whole sha-bang.  After this I try to find some places to crash for awhile (hopefully get a loaner car) and save every dime for the move.  It'll be awhile, so see you lads in a month or so.

Hasta luego muchachos

So I lied... I started packing... got about a whole half a box, became lost in a little nostalgia as I found things that I thought I'd lost so long ago buried under the mounds of junk.  Then I remembered I had a wedding to go to at 2:00!

Good gravy, and I forgotten to get a present!  Well, presents were kind of dismissed because the bride, a good friend, thought it was too weird to recieve gifts.  Why, I've no idea, but it was her second time getting married and the grooms... third I think?  Usually I would've gotten a gift anyway (who wouldn't have), but since my funds that I was supposed to have saved up are mysteriously drying up, I figured I'd be excused this once.

Got my hair all done up and vamosed (hmm, don't even know if thats a word... but it is now!).  They were having a biker wedding, super casual... jeans and t-shirt were my garments.  The rest of the guests who were formal wore casual-nice clothes, some had dresses... while the other band of guests who were going with the theme had chops, leather coats, worn tight blue jeans (yum, gotta dig the biker chicks, I don't care who you are!), etc.  It was a really nice wedding, they were married on a dock out in the pond.  Afterwards, everyone who had a bike jumped on and followed the bride and groom on a long trek around the hills and valleys in the area.  While the rest of us went into the bar where the reception was and waited... and waited... and waited... two hours (ish) and 12 drinks (ish) later, they came back!  It was an even more fun night afterwards!

So now its 4:00 pm on Sunday... and I still only have about half a box packed up.  Damn you procrastination... why must you be so cozy. 

I did find a really cool CD an old roady buddy gave me a while ago... the bands called XTC, the album is Skylarking.  If you kind of enjoy a poppy/goofy sort of tune with strange lyrics, and british accents (something to the liking of Ben Folds... without the accent), you might dig the album.  Here's a link where you can listen to some samples... XTC: Skylarking

A note thats not very well known about the last track... Dear God.  The song is based on a letter a child wrote to the Vatican, which sent Rome roaring when XTC created a song about it and it was actually played on radios across Europe.  Don't you love those useless facts that always somehow nestle in your head somewhere?  Heheh.

Kind have come across an odd concept, I'm moving out, I really don't have anything to my name right now.  A couple hundred bucks... a near maxed credit card (damn it all, how did this happen?!?!), no real place to settle down at, no car (yet), pretty much the clothes on my back.  And you know what... I kinda like it.

I've never needed anything, honestly I was pretty much spoiled as a kid (Jen... shaddup, I need no help from you :) ), even though our parents never had much money, they never made us young kids really concerned with that.  Christ, you put a toilet and a fridge in my room and you'd have a middle class home compacted into a 15x18 room.

I can't wait to visit my grandma's place in Mauston, not because its nice (a home made log cabin, built by a man who struggled with any semblance of carpentry, let alone architecture), but because its really far out on top of a bluff surrounded by valleys and forest.  Maybe I'll knock off some of the local bars here (only have about 21+ taverns [not including restuarant/bars] in about 1 square mile... not a redneck town at all) and invest in a nice camera.  Maybe some black and white film (yeah sis, you did rub off a bit if you can't tell), and actually get out more often and take pictures of these things they call... trees?  Heheh.

So far behind in rat race that I've been lapped... but its more fun being a spectator on the sidelines than near the lead.

Finally, the moving ordeal has ended.  I'll not feel sorry at all if any of that stuff burns, should have never been moved anyway.  Its frustrating enough having to move 12 years worth of your childhood out, let alone when there are only two people to do it, one who is already very ill anyway.  But when 2/3 if not more should have been thrown away, or sold or something of the like, but you can't because of some idiotic stipulation in some buried clause in a divorce contracts says everything must be kept so it may be divided further on down when you very well know it will be tossed anyway (I really hate lawyers with a passion right about now).  Plus doing the last day of it after a long day of work from 6pm to 3:30am on a Thursday night only to wake up a couple  hours later and go back to work really grinds on your patience a lil.  Ah well, its done with and pops didn't have to do it on his own, that all that counts.

Stayed the night with padre and his redneck girlfriend.  Don't take it wrong, she is nice and all of that, but... well, shes a white trash redneck trailer home woman.  Pulled up to her house and its about 25 years old, unkept... no sort of siding, just straight insulation, and a slew of hand built add-ons by seemingly carpentry-challenged individuals.  Just walking on the stairs and deck outside of it I was afraid I might fall through.

But, that cliche saying "You can't judge a book by its cover" still stands true, for once I walked in, it was shockingly nice.  Still older, but well done.  Nice paneling on the inside, kind of tasteful 70's style decorating (is that an oxymoron?  Tasteful 70's decoration?.... oh wait, a paradox! :) ).

Then the next morning I came out to my grandmother's home.  I haven't seen her for probably 3 years or more, and I still feel uneasy that she has welcomed me with open arms.  I also feel kind of bad, because I don't really plan on staying with her much at all, just the weekend and maybe a couple of days later on through the next three weekends.  Only reason I'm doing this is because she said she'd take the cat, so I figure I'd stay awhile until he adjusted a bit.

Its odd, because I really don't consider her like family.  We're blood related, but she was hardly ever there when I was a kid growing up.  Never came and did stuff with us kids, never really came and spent many holidays with us, just was never there.  Even when we came out to visit on those rare occasions, my biggest memories are with my brothers and sister, riding the three wheeler through the trails, playing a mini pinball machine in the back of their garage, etc.  And like the rest of us have agreed, its sad because she wants to be grandma now... but we've all grown up and really don't consider her grandma at all.  Sounds kind of cold, doesn't it?  But its true, the last couple of days I really have tried to think of her like that, but when we sit down at the table to eat, we sit and struggle with conversation, even on the simplist things.  I know nothing about her and she knows nada about me.  Sad, but the only memories of her that stick out in my mind is her signature on the birthday savings bonds she use to send.

But I admit, one thing I really always liked out here was the forest.  I went for a walk after another akward dinner tonight down through the trails.  Everything was green and lush, serene and, for the most part, bueatiful.  Its been awhile since I've been out in the woods.  My mind is really pushing to get myself a camera now, start snapping some shots maybe.  That and invest in some bug repellent!  Good gravy, I can't walk two steps anywhere without having a spider crawl up my leg, moths use me as a landing pad, or gnats, mesquitos or horse flys nibble at my flesh!  And it only takes three steps inside the house!  Ech... heheh.  It was a really nice walk though, I might have to start taking them more often, kind of nice to have a clear head once in a while! ;)

Long time, no talk.  Took a wee lil haitus, sorted every last lil thing out... sorta.  Heheh, procrastination gets the best of me still... I'll be late for my own funeral I swear!

Nothing new on the home front here.  Still jumping from place to place while stopping in and spending some time with my grand mother in between.  Car is still in the shop, oddly enough I rather like the Malibu they gave me... not so much power and oodles better on the gas. 

Just learned that our father became ill, think all of us (Jen, Chris, and Mike) haven't taken it so well.  Hopefully it ends up being ok... otherwise, well, who knows.  Anyway!

Just thought I'd stop in and let you know that Micheal Jackson has not gotten a hold of me and tucked me away in Never Never land, and hopefully leave some lewd (yet tastefull :) ) comments for any poor lad to dwell on! 

Another day stuck in Aurora (having a totally cool sis helps, but you know... the more posts she... uh, posts... the more I think I was adopted :)) so here I am, stuck waiting for my car to be fixed, alone in my granny's place with nothing to do but rant and rave on Mindsay.  Oh yes, life is good... but it would be better with a smoothie, don't you agree?

Sooo... I'm off to shower and brave the rain and old people with their wild crazy stares to the local italian store that mi hermana said had good produce.

... yep.  Don't worry, I shall return and recount the tale of the two block adventure of dewm.  oh yes... ahem, right.

Hoho amigos, do I have smoothie fixings!  Strawberrys, blueberrys, rasberrys, apricots, bananas, pinapple, kiwis, and a coconut to top it off!  If I only can figure a way to break the damn thing open!  Ah well, I've got a nifty lil place to down load songs for about 10¢ apiece... so I downloaded Mungo Jerry's "In the Summertime" and am grooving while debating what sort of smoothie to make and where I can find a hack saw for the vicious coconut... oh yes, I will reach your creamy filling!!!  Ahem, alright now...

In the summertime when the weather is hot
You can stretch right up and touch the sky
When the weather's fine
You got women, you got women on your mind
Have a drink, have a drive
Go out and see what you can find

First attempt at a smoothie... not too shabby.  Lil too much yogurt, not enough fruit... and I don't think raw coconut really does anything unless its been prepared a bit.  That or I got a bad nut... HA!  heheh, sorry, couldn't help myself.  Ahem, right. We'll try again... maybe with a splash of bacardi... jummy!

If her daddy's rich take her out for a meal
If her daddy's poor just do what you feel
Speed along the lane
Do a ton or a ton an' twenty-five
When the sun goes down
You can make it, make it good in a lay-by

Not to bad for a second attempt/fixing a mistake.  Double the fruit and throw in a wee bit over a teaspoon or two of suger and viola!  Smoothie heaven!... sorta... somethings missing but I'll get it... Oh!  Rum!

Aw yeah, thats the ticket.  I shoulda gone to school for the culinary arts.  Emeril ain't got nothing on me!  Wolfgang who?  Iron Chef is rusty compared to me!.... right, I'll shut up now. Heheh

We're no threat, people
We're not dirty, we're not mean
We love everybody but we do as we please
When the weather's fine
We go fishin' or go swimmin' in the sea
We're always happy
Life's for livin' yeah, that's our philosophy

soooooo.... come here often?  yeah....

just waiting until they call me up about my car.......

yep.... just chilling out...... waiting.....

Oh!  I did find a nifty site to download songs for a couple a pence a piece!  If you get so sick and tired of trying to do those "free" downloads (mind you, I don't endorse illegal use of copyrights n stuff .... I don't, really) and don't want to sign up and pay .99 per song or something of the like, try this site.

www.allofmp3.com

Mind you, you still gotta pay for songs, but the most expensive I've seen so far were $0.27... put 10 bucks down and your able to snag about 5-8 albums if not more.  Yep....

mtay....

that was my excitement for the day.....

doobie doobie doo....

wow... i really sounded like a radio ad back there didn't i?  Eeech...

Whew!  I got the car back today!  Still has a wheel bearing thats kinda busted, makes an annoying "brrrr" sound like every second or so... depending on how fast I'm going. :)

Ah well, I guess the cool part is that I didn't have to spend a dime on it, General Motors worked it all out internally.  I really need to get into more car accidents more often I've decided.  First accident I had (still holds the record in the family... wrecked 20 minutes after I got my drivers license, aww yeah! Heheh) was with a 1984 Buick Le Sabre.  More like a boat than a car, but I paid $500 for the thing and the insurance gave me $1800 in restitution!  And now with this speed demon, I should've paid $500 for the deductible at least, but the mechanic said they ordered the wrong side muffler so he gave me the amount equal to the part and labor which after the deductable left me $143 odd dollars above water!  And the muffler in question was only scuffed, nothing wrong with it at all!..... course my insurance will probably be about $250 a month (not stretching the truth at all there) if not more.

Me sis,tattooedjen talked me into staying another day pretty much.  Prepping up for the long 3 day haul out to California.  Ech, right now i've got two major decisions.  Do I take the most direct route, which is down through Oklahoma, the pan handle of Texas then the southern desert states.... where there is no scenery, no good radio stations, and... well, nothing at all really.  Or do I go at least 500 miles outta my way and go through Colorado, the badlands, the Rockies, and hopefully across Cali and onto Highway 1, driving right next to the ocean all the way down to San Diego.  Hmmm... decisions decisions... guess we'll see how gas prices are doing... I think I'm going to invest in a nice bicycle. :)

So, I've been sitting around for a couple of days...... ok ok, a couple of weeks (no job for me... could be worse), and I've been thinking... as you tend to do on these looooooooooong days when you're mind is fried and the tedium has taken its toll after the thousandth(ish) job advertisement, whatever happened to the times?  What happened to those days you may have heard from your parents?  Not that this day and age isn't good, but its obviously so much harder and.... I dunno, insane, fidgety, toooo... formal?  Seems everywhere you go you're bombarded with retirement plans, erectile disfunction ads, news of bogus politics which sadly enough, don't suprise anyone and has actually become a steadfast thing in government, but it just seems to be going way too fast... all work and no play, you know?  "Computers make work more easy!"... soo now we'll cram 3 weeks worth of work into one week, and if you can't handle it, Mexico or India can for about 1/3 the cost sorta thing.

So I talked to my dad for a bit, had to give him a buzz and thank him for our early Christmas present.  He sent us a giant basket full of cheese's n sausage.  Mmm... Bears, polish sausage, Dikta, Bears... heheh.  And we got to talking and seeing how each of us was doing.  He's pretty positive about beating out the cancer, thinking about going back to school and finishing out, something in the boundries of helping fellow cancer patients.  When its all said and done that is. 

But we started talking about the day and age, and how things use to be, heheh, kinda like a couple of old farts that should be on some rocking chairs on a front porch somewhere lecturing their grandkids.  Lemme give you al lil rundown on our pops first (me, tattooedjen's and socalchris's dad that is).  Great guy, didn't have a great family life, kind of a loaner growing up I guess.  Tons of great stories though.  Like one was, well, actually he had alot of these sort of stories... anyway :p, he hitch hiked across the States, from Illinois I think down to Texas, maybe out to the west a bit and then back.  He slept in parks if he couldn't find a place to stay.  One guy picked him up with his little daughter in the car, and pop told them where he was headed and the guy said he had a brother and sister-in-law on the way.  Ended up being dropped off at the said couple house where they gave him a room for the night (wife was a lil reluctant, but still was nice).  And on the way back... I think in Oklahoma, he hit a really cold storm one night and hadn't eaten anything for a day or so... so he sat on the side the road and waited until a police car had passed him a couple of times before finally stopping and asking if they could help him?  So he said "Yeah, you could arrest me."  And they did, not really, but took him back to the station, gave him an open cell with a cot for the night. Then when morning came, the fed him some coffee and doughnuts and sent him on his way.  Man, how great is all of that?!?

Now try doing that this day and age.  Numero uno, you'd be lucky if you were picked up by a single person the whole way, and odds are if you were, it would be by someone you wouldn't want to ride with for a hefty distance.  Numero dos, if you tried that with cops now-a-days, if you haven't been arrested for some stupid lil misdemeaner by then they surely would at that point for loitering and who knows what else.  It just makes you wonder, what happened?  Why'd everything get so uptight all of a sudden?  Who knows I guess, as long as you're all cool daddios, thats all that counts! :)

Started making another compilation, kinda lost my racing one I had been making after everyone's suggestions when my computer was acting funky and I got fed up and reformatted the whole thing... without saving any of the songs I had downloaded... whoops.  Bastard Bill Gates, I blame him!  Its not his fault but still blame him anyway... billion dollar commie... grr...

Kind of going for a 60's-ish soul feel... so far I've got:

Looking Glass - Brandy (You're a Fine Girl)

Bill Withers - Lovely Day

Stevie Wonder - Superstition

Any other groovy hits you jive turkeys?

Heheh... how often do you really get to use that word?  Kinda like omnipotent or oxymoron.... weee... my sis would have a hay day.... I's using gargantuan, monstrosity sized words... I reckon...

Hey, anyone know how to put music on there blog?  Perhaps a way to install a wee lil player on there somehow?  I know everyone would love to do that, just have a song accompany every blog, like having your own lil personal soundtrack!  Someones gotta know!  Reveal your secrets!!!

1. Name:
2. Birthday:
3. Place of residence:
4. Favorite ice-cream novelty:
5. What are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. Do you read my mindsay:
7. If you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Do you have a crush at the moment:
10. Favourite place to be:
11. Favourite lyric:
12. Best time of the year:
13. Best album of 2005:
14. Where would you take me/where would you like me to take you on a date:
15. First impression of me:

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A band, a song and an album:

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Put this in your mindsay so I can tell you what I think of you. (if you want)

• Three unsafe lane changes
• Speeding 20 mph over speed limit (which is 70, he said he thought I was going faster, but he didn't clock me)
• Plates not registered in California
• No California license

So I'm here at tattooedjen's and burl235's chillin out.  We took a trip up to the coast and checked out the Red Wood tree's, rocky shores and small, picturesque towns along the ways.  Twas pretty effing cool and laid back.  Then we came back and made some guacamole, home made toritilla chips, and nachos cheese dip while watching Invader Zim.  It is goot. : )

Only downside is I seem to be in a guanga utopia and can't even touch the stuff myself... fate is a cruel cruel bitch, bitch I say!  Made up for it with a bottle of Bailey's (thanks guys!)... mmm... scrumptious!  Hasta luego

Ohhh yeah!  Just graduated boot camp baby!  Can't give you the full update right now, but hopefully in a couple of days when I finally get shipped up to and settled in my new school I'll give you the low down on the life and times of a Sailor (and all around, damn cool guy of the world)! : )

Hey there, long time no hear, right?  Life's taken me down a bunch of new roads I'd never thought I'd take, and while I'm still debating whether or not they're for me, I gotta admit, it is nice to have a change of view... or something.

Basic training was kind of disappointing.  Not as fast paced and intense as I thought it would be, they never really pushed you either.  More or less they presented the obstacles and let you make the choice if you wanted to overcome them or not.  Because of that, alot of people ended up dropping out or getting kicked out of the Navy.  It's all what you make of it I guess.

Only been here in my A-School for almost a week and I loathe it, sorta.  Its getting a little better, but its located in Conneticut near... alot of trees.  Not much to do, we can't have anything in our rooms (yet) and its really boring.  We've gotten a couple of bogus assignments to do that we're basically cruising through.  Right now I'm thinking this wasn't my best choice, but hey, it may get better here.  Plus sticking through with it will get me about 54K for college, not including all the insanely good loans they will offer me for years to come that regular banks and institutions really can't touch.

Which brings me to my next thing, what to do afterwards?  I've been kind of delving on Microbiology/Genetics for a couple of years now... but in boot camp I had alot of time to think about what I really wanted.  And I don't know if that would be the best choice.  A couple of more ideas popped in my head, journalism was one of them, I love to write ministories and reviews, so I could do a ton of things in the publishing world there.  I love gaming, so a graphic designer or something of the like became another option.  But yet, still one more way popped up way off the charts of those... and that was baking.  I love to bake things, I never really did it that often, but making muffins and cakes and breads and cookies... oh man, that would be so awesome.  I mean I love to cook in general, but I always had a lil spot for baking!  Good god, what kind of man am I... baking?  Heheh, but hey, who knows.  I've got alot of time to decide while I'm here in A-School... so any suggestions, toss them at me!

P.S. I need to set up a payment plan with my credit card because I haven't payed it in a while and have gone into debt.  Anyone have experience with this thing that could help me out?  I don't care if the card is cancelled or not... but I need to try to figure out how to make them set up a somewhat convenient plan so as to pay it off without gaining much interest and what not... basically its all messed up and I need some advice, please?

Alright, alot about nothing I know, but I'll try to make a better update next time, I swear!!! : )

This is more of an ad for anyone who's interested and browsing the search engines for a car.

I am selling my 2005 Pontiac GTO and am asking for $26,000.  Located in Temecula, CA 92592.

Here are the points of it:

Blue Leather Interior

Bucket Seats (two in front and the two rear seats as well)

6 Disc CD Changer (located in the dash and not in the trunk)

Automatic (which Car & Driver deemed was faster on the quarter mile than a manual transmission)

Rear Wheel Drive

V-8 LS1 (Corvette Inspired Engine) pushing 400 HP

About 12,000 miles already on it, has about 24K/2 Years (April) left on a 36K Miles/3 Year Warranty

Here are some pictures...

She has been in one accident about a month after I bought it, mostly body damage and some suspension.  I don't have the VIN yet but I will put it up so you can look for it on Carfax.com if you'd like.  I still have the receipt also in the car with all the items that were fixed if you decided to go take a personal look at it.

My e-mail is Mason84@burntmail.com if you have any questions or wish to set up an appointment.  I am currently in the Navy and attending a year long (if not longer) school in Conneticut with no means of transporting the car up to me, plus I have a slew of speeding tickets (she is a fun car!) in which I can't afford the insurance or payments anymore.  My brother is holding the car and will be the person you will meet and deal with if you are interested.  If you are serious send me an email and I will send the contact information to my brothers home!  Please feel free to send any emails you want actually!  Thanks!

P.S. While I am in Conneticut, the car itself is in Temecula, CA 92592

Good god man, I thought being in the middle of no where in a military environment was bad enough (well, in a basic training sorta of environment in the middle of no where that is), but damn... I think my room mate is going to make me flip first!

I got two room mates, one guy is alright, really cool actually.  We have some of the same music tastes... ranging from everything from Pink Floyd to Radio Head to even Miles Davis... and everything in between.  We're both just laid back and older than the kids who just came, so we get along real well.  But our other room mate... damn... an 18 year old kid who acts like he's 16 still.  He listens to main stream so much, which isn't really bad but he sings out loud really loudly, and he's tone deaf.  He gets into a bunch of teen antics still, "I hate this place!" "I hate the military." "I'm so depressed." "My girl friend is a bitch."... alot more elaborated but I just don't got the energy to well... eloborate, but you know what I mean?  Grow up man, you signed the dotted line... sheesh.  Chomps food with his mouth open, his clothes wreak but he doesn't really try to cover it up, ditches everytime we got to do stuff on our own time... blasts his music while we play ours... damn... and its only been about 2 weeks.  Ahem... not that I'm bitching or anything... : P

Otherwise, slowly but surely its going.  Hopefully the car will sell soon, posted it up on Cars.com.  Then maybe I can snag a loan for my own computer and be able to talk to everyone alot more than I do now.

Tomorrow though I'm checking on the possibility of a rumor about Submariners being able to get into the NASA programs alot easier because they are so much related to space travel and what have you... pressure changes, dangerous equipment in closed environments and so on.  Who knows, maybe when I grow I'll be a rocket man...... Rocket man, burning on his fuse up here alone....

And I think it's going to be a long long time,

Till touch down brings me round again to find,

I'm not the man they think I am at home

Oh no no no.... I'm a rocket man

Heheh... m'tay, I'll stop.  So thats all, wish I had a camera.  It's Spring here in New England and the hills are bueatiful.  I only really regret that I don't have much down time to write any poems or stories, this would be an ideal place to lounge against a tree and day dream all day.  Ah well, maybe this weekend if I don't have a duty section (bogus work where you gotta muster and clean the place up... real waste of time actually).  Hasta luego amigos!

Whew hew!  Liberty weekend has come, only after about three months of wearing nappy ass utilities and adhering to some silly ass strict rules, I finally can relax in some jeans and a tshirt while sipping a black russian... throw in a remote beach and a sunny day and I could die a happy man.  Eh, only a couple years away.

Things are running along here.  About a 1/3 of the way through Basic Submarine School, still have about 1 1/2 years left after that... woo..oo....ehhh...  We did do a hands on class though, twas some bad ass fun stuff.  We were put in this room that was the direct recreation of a lower compartment in the engine room of a submarine... extremely small.  The exercise was that pipe would begin bursting open and pumping in hundreds of gallons per minute... literally.  And they had given us the tools and a crash course on how to fix them and pass the word over the system, basically setting up and running a makeshift emergency crew. 

Of course, they put me in charge, because they have some mighty fine taste in leadership. ; p  It was insanely fun, we all passed, just barely.  I think in the end we scored as a team a 71/100, but the next team that got the chance to watch us on some moniters only scored a 76/100, so I didn't feel so bad.

Otherwise, its been kind of a shibby weekend.  Raining alot... but Spring really slammed into the area, trees are all blooming, the bay is sparkling, it is really bueatiful.  Just waiting to sell the car still and get my credit card situation sorted before I can get back into the swing of things, snagging the neccesities... like a computer. Heheh, until then I shall wade through a vodka induced haze for the rest of the evening at the local pub.  Miss you guys, check ya later!

PS... Happy Mother's Day to all the mamacita's out there!

So things are going pretty good, I guess that would be the simpilest way to put it.  I'm near the top of my class for basic submarine training, neck and neck with a few guys.  Keep going from 2 to 5 back to 3 and all that good jazz.  Pretty interesting stuff.

But I've found out it's not for me.  I took a tour of one of the more new submarines the other day with the doctor's orders.  Ends up the psych test we took in the beginning labeled me with claustraphobic tendencies and a "loner" sort of character.  Bah, pish posh is what I say.  But it was somewhat right, because when I took the tour, while everything was insanely cool and high tech and just crazy, the ceiling was also only about 6' while the passageways were only 2' wide, and there is no where to go to get away for a second or two.  Ech, so the doc was as so kind to say that I was actually one of the few guys that probably honestly should not be on a sub, but it was up to me.  So I figured it against it.  A few days I could handle, but weeks upon months on hand?  Ooff da...

So now I'm checking into a couple new jobs right now, ranging from journalist, through religious specialist, and  even into some of there Space programs.  Hopefully I can land something better suited for me and my skills than just another grunt job.  We'll see.

Otherwise, its been cool meeting all the new guys.  Gonna miss my one room mate though, closest thing to a best friend I've had in a long time.  Kind of shitty, but we'll keep in touch I'm sure.  Otherwise, it's Fleetweek in New York and most of the base is there living it up while the whole city does their every bidding.  We're stuck here because one of our instructer's messed up and said we had to stand a reinspection of our dormatory, but never sent the paperwork through.  Trying to assemble a camping trip with the few guys stuck here, grab some liquor on the way out and have a fun weekend ourselves, we'll see what happens.  Otherwise, just waiting to see what Tuesday brings.

Hasta Luego amigos!

Wowsers... been awhile.  Soo... here I am... in Connecticut... most worthless state of the union.  Whew! :P

But, I finally get to blow this popsicle stand next Friday (here's hoping again).  Supposed to take off today, but they lost my orders and now just extended them.  Whats that you say?  Orders to where?  Well you just kick those feet up and let Papa Bear here 'splain de siteeation!

JAPAN!  Whew!  I'm going to Japan baby!  I can't wait!  This is why I joined the Navy!  Well... aside from the free college, job stability, golden retirement plan, incredible job experience, and the sexy uniform... but aside all that, this is why I's here!  Only cons is I lost my 8K bonus and going as a "Striker", which really means I'll just mop and chip barnacles all day, but hey, its only for a year until I class up into a school of my choice... give or take.  And I figure since I really won't have to worry about keeping up with a technical job, if my command allows me, I'll take advantage of the oppurtunity and start milking all the free college training I can stomach...

Right now, I've got my life planned down to a T!  Snag a bachelor's in Journalism, Photography, and even a Literature major if I can... with some schooling in the art of baking.  I'm hoping to strike for a Cook with my new second chance here, with the chance of landing a job cooking delicacies for Generals and foreign dignataries instead of serving out chow at the galleys.  With some luck (and maybe juicing up the CO a lil bit with some moonshine :P ), I'll be able to pull it off.

Otherwise, nada new... still in debt and its great baby!  :P

Man, I was going through my music collection today and was grooving to some tunes, now that I can since both my underage roommates got busted for drinking and sent to captain's mast and restriction... yay!  And I noticed... damn, I really have a funky taste in music.  This is what I was listening too...

Depeche Mode - Black Celebration

Ben Folds - Rocking the Suburbs

Seal - Seal

Chevelle - Wonder What's Next

The Cure - my own lil compilation

Ian van Dahl - Ace

Yowsa... where the hell did I get my tastes from... I blame my siblings. :P

PS... I got my orders today!  Whoo!  Here's a taste of the fun task of interpreting orders...

------- ULTIMATE ACTIVITY (M) -------
REPORT NOT LATER THAN 28 AUG 06 EDA: 28 AUG 06
TO DDG 62 FITZGERALD UIC: XXXXX
HOMEPORT HONSHU YOKOSUKA, JAPAN

Now I've got four pages of information, such as places I must report to, personell I need to inform and forms I've got to submit... oh yeah, good times. But hopefully I'll be outta here sometime by midweek next week. Wish me luck eh?

Eech... getting butterflies in my stomach thinking about going oversea's to a whole new place away from everyone.  That or maybe its the couple of cold hotdogs I had last night... heheh.

So I started check out today so I can bust a move and blow this popsicle stand.  Fun stuff... I forget that this is built on nothing but cliffs and hills.  I'm gonna miss the daily exercise I get from just walking from place to place... I gots buns of steel baby, rock hard! :P

But man, my toe is killing me.  Thats one of my jists that I've got with the Navy is their doctors man.  Everytime I go in for something... they end up taking care of something else.  Take for instance I went in about a week ago because of some weird ass infection on the end of my toe!  It was all black and blue, looked all rotting and was oozing puss (mmm... details! :) ), but it didn't hurt... just kind of tingled.  So I figured that probably wasn't a good sign and went in to the doc the next morning.

Well, they checked it out and after about 4-5 different docs/nurses checked it out and really didn't know what it was, the head doc (a Lt. Commander, nice guy though) came in and said it looked alright, like my immune system was fighting it off and everything would be peachy keen.  Kewl beans, I say.  But is that where twinkle toes (aka, moi) takes off on his merry way?  Nooo...

"But we were wondering about your nail..." he says.

And I knew it had started... everytime I go in they gotta take a peice of me.

"What about my nail, sir?" I ask, all suspicious like n stuff.

"Well, looks like you've got an ingrown happening around there." he says with great fervor.

"Oh that, well, thats been like that for a few years, hasn't bothered me ever." I say, trying to brush off the topic all nonchalently while I hurridly slide on my socks, all the while plotting my elaborate escape if he doesn't take the bait.

"Well, it will probably get worse.  We should just take it out to stop the worst from happening."  His tone has slightly toughened up, and thats when I know.  They're creating a clone of me, peice by peice!  The scurvy shiester bastard, he's sly one with is rank and his... opticals... of DOOM!  Yes... evil windows into the devils soul... EVIL I SAY!

"Sir, do you think I can have it removed at a later date.  I'm to be getting my orders today or tomorrow and then leaving right afterward to see my family.  I haven't seen any of them since my father got cancer right after I had left boot camp."  Yes, I pulled the 'sick father' card.  Was it low?  Yes... rottenly low.  Even worse, I toppied it off with the sad puppy eyes mixed with the naive young 'gee golly mister' act... and was just working on the 'single tear' from the old commercials featuring that Native American from the 70's when he piped up a retort so devastating that I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Oh don't worry, this won't hold up your orders at all!" he yelps in a cheerful manner.  The bastard knows he has won, there's nothing more I can do.  My eyes dart all over the room, searching for some sort of weapon to assist me with my desperate escape as he turns to grab two "assistants".  Latex gloves, a defribalater, popsicle stick things, an anal thermometer, that funky light they shine in your ears and nostrils, blood pressure pump thing... wait.  An anal thermometer?

But it was too late, while my mind was easily distracted on the huge tube filled with mercury, the doctor's two vixen sirens he called "assistants" had come in and started weaving their spells.  Damn him!  Damn him all to hell!

Yeah... anyway... so they jammed about 6 needles into my toe, hitting the bone twice... ouch.  But it was pretty good, the corpsman knew what she was doing.  That and she was pretty cute... but she did look like she took a bath in that fake sun tanning stuff, you know what I'm talking about?

Anyway, I've got some photos, but I'll put em up next week since I haven't gotten the film developed yet.  Why would I take photos of the gruesomeness, I hear you ask?  Because me freak of a sister, tattooedjen, loves that sorta stuff... freak. : ) 

Thats all for now, till next time kiddies! :P

I'm finding that in the past few months... 666 has popped up alot in my life.

Rang up at the cashiers a few times for different items... lucky numbers in fortune cookies... my code for a class I was in... and now, I just got my new address to my ship... and it has 666 in it...

I feel something ominous and foreboding this way comes...

Hot damn!  I always wanted to say that!

I was just wondering, with all the force that Isreal right now is going after the Hezbollah in Lebanon... whats to make the stop and not just invade the country wholly?  Just wondering since I'm not so pollitically intuitive n shtuff.

Because, the fact is... we support Isreal (for the most part).  Soo... what would happen you think if they just pretty much said "Fuck this." and started invading their oh so loving neighbors of theirs?  What choo think?  Would we step in and stop it?  Would the UN intervene?  Are Girl Scout cookies made out of real Girl Scouts?  These are the things that keep me up at night people! :P

Shitty day... last night went to have a going away party... alas, never really kicked off.  Then went to get my plane tickets home today... and they're not coming in until next Tuesday or Wednesday.  I can't find any decent insurance for my car since since some shmoe decided not to buy it at the last minute after I started getting things ready... and who knows.

Thats the sucky thing about the military, you can't really just say fuck it and skip out for the day just to chill and recooperate.  Ah well, least its the weekend.

Oh man, last night was pretty freaking cool.  Small things that you take for granted sometimes make the whole differance in the world!

We had gone to the mall last night... and by all means, I am not a mall sorta guy.  Not by any stretch of the imagination.  But man, to get off base and see "civilized" life again... I was actually kind of disappointed when a couple a peeps noticed for some reason or another that we were in the military.  Not that I regret that I joined... just kind wish to back in the main stream again.

I got respect for any other person who decides to join the military man... it's one hell of a transition.  Give up alot of things.  In the end, it will be one hell of an adventure, but I think after the time is done, it will be clean cut and finished.

What really got me was a bunch of us just chilled out at a local restuarant, ordering those crazy drinks off the menu's and just chilling and having a good time.  No worry of regulations, no worry of representation, none of that.  I don't really dislike the whole military... but I don't think its quite what I had expected either.  I think I was expecting the old "brown boot" sorta days.  The ones you hear about from your dad's old buddies and the vets who stop in the local bar everyday or so.

Not these days man... extremely PC and a little too liberal.  And thats coming from a liberal per say!  Heheh... I think corporations could take business lessons from the military, thats how business orientated it is in here.  Oh well, only 3 1/2 more years!  Just like countdown in boot camp... but longer.

OH... did have a pina colada for the first time in ages last night... I am such a panzy when it comes to drinking.  Heheh...

If you like pina coloda's...

And getting caught in the rain...

:P

I need to get laid!!!

... that is all. 

Actually, just arrived in today in Chicago to start up my leave.  Missed my flight last night so I stayed up for 12 hours straight waiting for the next flight... all the way till this morning.  Didn't want to fall asleep because I was afraid I wouldn't wake up in time.

Already... I've pigged out on nothing but junk food and some Bailey's.  It's kind of funny, after being on a semi-strict diet for the last 6 months... I feel really queizy right about now after the binge.  Alas, no ones home.  Found the old Super Nintendo... and it doesn't work... son of a monkey I say!

Otherwise... just chilling out... but back to the initial point, I need to get laid.  Just some crazy, raunchy, break the furniture, lock the doors and make crazy animal sounds all night and through the day kinda sex!  Is that really so much to ask for?  Kinda sucks when you're supposed to be visiting your mother and grandmother though... son of a monkey... :p

So, its been a sort of nice day today.  Woke up semi early, grabbed a lil breakfast, and sat down to watch a show of the most amazing massive machines on Earth.  Saw a Soviet Jet Plane that could carry a shuttle on its back and carry over 1 million pounds worth of cargo, an earth-moving mining machine from out of this world... and about half the size of it, and a new and improved General Electric jet twice the size of a dump truck.  Crazy things... then boredom kicked in.  And I raided the fridge, snagged a couple chips and tried some interesting condiments that really weren't satisfying in the end.

And after awhile I figured some fresh air would do me good.  So I tossed on a pair of shoes and went for a jog, about a mile... mile and a half... and I realized, man... I'm outta shape.  Came back and finished off with some pushups and a slew of situps.  And then... boredom just slide right back onto the sofa of my soul.

"No!" I screamed into the air like James Dean crying out for Stella... and grabbed my new fandangled book and sat on the deck under the sun, letting the sound of the nearby construction drown in my concentration of words weaving their way through a mystery. 

After a few pages and some plot twists... I started taking notice of all the commotion the construction workers and their plans to complete a local subdivision of homes.  I watched them intently from across the way for long time, fascinated at the work they were accomplishing, like a little boy noticing how an army of ants can work so seamlessly to create a massive, nearly perfectly symetrical mound and only wondering what sort of labyrinth lie underneath.

The last week of idleness has made me really question where I was heading in life, where I am heading in life... I'm obviously not getting any younger, nor am I old.  But alot of my friends and peers seem to have something set, some sort of goal in mind.  And while I had a goal I thought so recently set... I reflected about what the goal I had in store not even 6 months ago.  A vow that I would never settle down for a two bit 9-5 job like so many do, that I would do something with my life... something meaningful... something worth while.  Something people would look upon and say "I never imagined...", not to fill myself with pride or make others jealous, not to create a status symbol for myself or set in stone my superiority, just to set a spark in motion across the world.  Something that would give people inspiration and bring a whole new era of creativity in everything from the arts, through the sciences, and even into the very ethics of... well, everything.  Perhaps usher forth another sort of Bohemian Revolution.

Not that what I'm doing at the moment is a total waste... but it's not what I had expected.  Honestly, I would be more at home trying to defend the nation against all odds from some sort of vile foe... but more or less I find myself surrounded by fellow "workers" who worry more about working more than the schedule had in store, trying to advance strictly for pay benefits, and debating every little qualm across the world like policemen debat over what sort of ticket a person caught speeding ought to be issued.  More politics and buearacracy than about tradition and honor.

I feel always out of place... like a poet trying to trade stocks on Wall Street or a water buffalo grazing among the prides of Africa.  Maybe there's no more room for the dreamers in this world...

Maybe I need to just get laid. :P

So I'm just gonna sit on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

Look like nothing's gonna change
Everything still remains the same
I can't do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same, yes

Sittin' here resting my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's two thousand miles I roamed
Just to make this dock my home

Now, I'm just gonna sit at the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Oooo-wee, sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

With my mind on my money and my money on my mind.

Not really, been enjoying doing jack squat for the past few days.  Watched a whole slew of movies we went and rented... V for Vendetta, Lord of War, Rumor has It, Les Miserable (favorite movie of all time), The Producers (you gotta watch that, effing hilarious!), and... Bueaty Shop.  I know... but they were all pretty good!

That plus I've been playing Spyro the Dragon games... my sis would be jealous.  About to head up north for the weekend and then next week I'll be off to Japan.  Man, getting freaked out about that now.  What if I hate it?  I'm thousands of miles away from any friends and family... I'm at the bottom of the food chain... plus I don't remember any of the training for ships since I've been training in the Submarine Service for the past 5 months-ish.  Ah well... good news, seems like some chap from England has bought my car and is sending me an express check today... hopefully it gets there by Monday or Tuesday and I can get the ball rolling!  Wish me luck!

There's a port on a western bay
And it serves a hundred ships a day
Lonely sailors pass the time away
And talk about their homes

And there's a girl, in this harbor town
And she works, laying whiskey down
They say "Brandy, fetch another round"
She serves them whiskey and wine

The sailors say "Brandy, you're a fine girl
What a good wife you would be
Yeah your eyes could steal a sailor
From the sea."

Brandy, wears a braided chain
Made of finest silver from the north of Spain
A locket, that bears the name
Of a man that Brandy loved

He came, on a summer's day
Bringing gifts, from far away
But he made it clear, he couldn't stay
No harbor was his home

The sailors said "Brandy, you're a fine girl
What a good wife you would be
But my life, my lover, my lady
Is the sea."

Yeah Brandy used to watch his eyes when he told his sailor's story
She could feel the ocean fall and rise, she saw it's raging glory
But he had always told the truth, Lord he was an honest man
And Brandy does her best to understand

At night, when the bars close down
Brandy walks through a silent town
And loves a man, who's not around
She still can hear him say, she hears him say

"Brandy, you're a fine girl
What a good wife you would be
But my life, my lover, my lady
Is the sea"

"Brandy, you're a fine girl
What a good wife you would be
But my life, my lover, my lady
Is the sea"

Figured some good music was in call for... I wish I could find a little place to throw up a song on here every so often, I keep looking but I lost my computer savvy long ago.

Nothing new here, came up last night with my other grandmother... what a fun ride that was... I tell you what, fuck this driving shit from now on!  I'm investing in a bike for the rest of my life... I know I was not the best driver, more aggressive than really horrible.  But damn...

Pops seems to be doing better regardless of his aches and pains from recovering from surgery from recovering from cancer.  Good god, what an ordeal for that guy man.  Don't know if we'll even do anything today, may just lounge out unless he feels up to going out.  Well, the sun just came out, so I'm outta here.  Hasta luego!

Oh, and if anyone knows of maybe how to put music up on this, like some oldies... I see those music code things for all the main stream stuff, none of that porfavor.  But please, let me know!

Well, after a couple sleepless nights and nearly 16 hours of nearly straight travel... I have landed in the promised land.  Japan for those who don't follow the series.

Its crazy!  So far I love it!  From what I've seen anyway... until we hit the base.  Even then, its alright.  Where was I... oh, I love it!  And I haven't really even experienced it yet, just been driven through it.  I feel like the spirit of the Guggenheim Museum was taken out, bought a slew of rounds, slipped a couple of murphy perhaps, then set loose upon the land with whatever materials were handy!

But anyway, I'm here and chilling out until Monday when I start up orientation and then probably work.  The ship I'm on is out for another week or so.

Had a great time at home too.  Got to see both the parents and some of the other long lost family.  Wasn't bad at all, only downside is that I gained about 10 lbs from all the sweet delicious cooking and outings!  Mmm... Bailey's Chocolate Chip Cheese Cake... eez deelizious.  Well, its only 4 pm here right now... which means its about 4 am where I just came from.  Time to hit the hay I think and chill out.

Kind of sucks being broke in Japan, well... not entirely broke.  But not really able to spend any money unless I want to be broke!  Heheh

Started indoctrine today for the base... learned that typhoon season is about to start up.  Whoo!  Thats oughtta spark things up a bit!  That plus part of our indoc they are dragging us to the train station in a couple days and literally setting us loose in Japan so we get to experience it... I like their style!

Ah, anyway the ships not to be coming in for a week or two so thats kind of cool.  I'd like to get on and get started, but at the same time... I'm really dreading it.  The Navy is in one hell of a transition right now... and everyone... literally everyone doesn't have something positive for the most part to say about it.  Kind of really hard to keep pressing on when it looks so bleak.  But I'll wait and see what happens.  It is Japan after all, but I think I might have jumped on the train here at the wrong time.  Ah well, go figure.  Anyway, miss everyone, talk to you later.

So today the let us loose in Japan as part of our briefing.  Oh man, it was pretty rad.  Kind of sucked to start because we still had to muster, but in civilian clothes... YAY!  And I met up with a couple of peeps, but it was really hard to get to be a part of a group because they all clammed together by ships or rank.  Sooo... nobody wanted to play with me.

They mentioned a few places to go out and see, two in Tokyo, which was out of the question because of lack of yen.  You need at least a 20000 yen ($200) to see that place and enjoy it really.  Then some place called Yokohoma, which had a bunch of neat things like the largest ferris wheel in the world and the fastest elevator in the world located in the tallest building in the world (or Japan), not quite sure.

Well, most the guys were going to the first few places.  Which is cool, but mostly to check out the chicks and drink, which isn't bad by all means.  But man, I have as far as I know one year in Japan, there'll be plenty of time shmoozing later, and besides man, I'm not into hanging out with most of these "frat" boy types man.

So I headed to Kamakura, which had the Giant Budah statue!  I was following a mediocre size group there but felt way too much like a tourist... so when they passed an alley which when I looked down had a really nice looking temple at the end of it that you had to look for... I split off.  A rebel am I!  Yes!

Really neat temple off the side, pretty large too!  I took a lot of picture there.  They had a small cave that the buddhists long ago had carved into some pretty elaborate figure heads and what not.  Only thing is the passage ways which made up a lil more than 2/3 of the whole underground complex were only 4 feet tall, but I made it through!

I've got a lot of pictures I took all over the place with all the neat little differences on things like there streets.  For instance, you know how in the states we've got gutters that the water just runs along on the side of the street?  Well, the gutters over here are under the street, and they have little stones that are placed over these dug in gutters, crazy neat!  Oh, and they have the large yellow stripes down the large main sidewalks that have bumps on them which I believe are for the blind to navigate!  Awesome!

Came back and raided their huge local mall right off base, really nice!  Nothing english in it hardly, but I stopped on the restuarant level and had the best sushi in my life, and alot for about 15 bucks.  It was stupendous n shtuff.  All in all, I did this whole mini-excursion for about $35, that was including the round trip ticket on the train, the lunch, the camera, a couple of drinks from the vending machine... OH, and the Sweet Potato Ice Cream Cone I had!  You think thats funky?  Its purple too, not like grape... but like... well, purple.  But it was awesome!  Insanely awesome!

Anyway, I'm kind of tired right now.  I'm gonna get the film developed and see if I can sneak the disc in the center here to load it on the computers.  Otherwise, worst case scenario, I'll send the pics to tattooedjen for her to post up!  Alright, thats all I got, hasta luego!

Alright, so I got on the ship yesterday.  Pretty cool... for a little bit.  I don't know if I'm nervous or freaking out right about now, but it was kind of uncomfortable.  Probably just nervous bet, still...

Then, After everyone telling me for a year tops till I get to my school, I get to the ship and my Chief and supervisors and co-workers all tell me that I'll be a fucking deck crew man for at least two years before I can strike up for something.  Two years... at minimum of a bottom dug job.  That means at the end of that when I finally get to choose a rate, I either choose some low end job on the ship that does nothing I'm interested in except mostly custodial work or I sign on for another 4-5 years, which would be the time I'd like to have been finishing up a degree in Journalism and/or Photography.  Ahhhh... what would you do?

I really don't want to "quit" per say because 1) I don't want to disappoint the parents and 2) I do kind of enjoy being in Japan here... but the fact that I've been almost constantly effed over here since the start of this career path really is starting to get to me.  I figured I'd give a couple of months and push for getting at least something the least bit interesting instead of whatever they decide they need.  Least thats what I think.  Grr... I say.

So, long time no see, eh?  Well, I just got back from my real first maiden voyage out to see.  Well, sat outside North Korea babysitting a "special operations" ship for a week.  Oh god... I hated it.  I hate the sea.  Hate it hate it hate it... with a passion... unbeknowenst of this world... if thats even a word...

First day seeing the wide blue ocean... and I mean blue, was spectacular.  Then after staring at it for about 5 hours straight, it really lost its appeal.  Then when the seas got rough (rough by my standards that is, everyone else just laughed when I said that... bastards), I couldn't get past the sea sickness.  All the other new guys got over it within the day at the most... I was sick the whole time.  Threw up, lost my footing, etc, etc, etc.

Then, I've learned that I won't be leaving Deck Division for about 15-18 months... at least.  Yay... painting, sweeping, and... painting.  Ooo, scraping too!  Then I might be able to strike into another job... but the last 2 peeps who tried striking out ended getting effed over by our command and not being able to leave Deck Division.  Yeah, plus... since we're "Forward Deployed", I guess there isn't much time for me to trying out for college and what have you, I've got to concentrate on the mission at hand... such as painting, and sweeping.

That, and since a lot of sailor's have screwed up and the Navy as a whole is trying to improve its image, well... its harsh.  You can't leave base without a buddy, you can't own a car, rent a home, own a house, until you're at least E-5... which is a long way off.  Everytime, and I mean everytime, we leave the ship, we need to write up a liberty plan.  Oh man... and like I said... until you reach E-5 rank (which is about... ooohh, 4 years away), then you can have alot of that back.  So much for accelerating your life, huh?  It's not the whole Navy, its just my situation has seemed to turn really sour.

Well, I think I'm going to get out.  I know its a big choice and it'll be tough on every aspect but I have put alot of thought into the last week, every waking moment of every day.  But being here has really put a perspective on my life... not something that I've thought about, pondered over and played with, more like a swift slap to the face with a mesh glove.  Kind of started when I stayed with my pops before I came out here, he just kind of laid it out where I was in life and for once I was like "Oh... ok.  I got it!".  I know what I want (to a degree) and I now know what I'm missing out.  And knowing finally, I can live with that.

I know it'll be a disappointment to my family and my coworkers out here, but I won't regret it.  Time to take my life by the horns and do it, or something.  Soo... thats where my adventures are going.

And I don't want to dishevel the reputation of the Navy!  The crew I work with is great, the ship I'm on is top notch in terms of mission readiness and capability, and so on and so forth.  But my situation doesn't even resemble a sliver of the original, carefully crafted blue print from before.  I like to believe that when I put my mind to it, I can coax up a bueatifully crafted peice of literature (as long as my hermana proof reads it :P, and not as quite as good as her), and I'd hate to lose it to atrophy over time.  That being said, I'm sure if you went through this with a fine tooth and come... fuck, who am I kidding, this things is probably riddled with major gramatical errors, ah well.  :P

Otherwise, I'm going to post some pics of Japan for you, soon... well, soon as I find a buddy with a laptop whose willing to share.  I swear!

Here are those pics I kept promising... finally.  Better late then never, eh?  Just give them a minute or six to load. :P

A bueatiful tree blossoming.

Looking down upon the peons from the mighty mountainside temple... yes, bow before me!

Spectacular courtyard of the upper part of the temple.

If you look closely at the surrounding walls, you'll see that they're lined with hundreds, if not thousands, of small Buddhist's, all intricately carved and placed facing inwards.

Awesome pond fed by a hidden waterfall.

Hidden waterfall... er, well... bamboo style aqueduct... just like a waterfall... ahem, yeah... anyway...

Another blossoming tree.

Nifty little main street of the town below the temples... where I also snagged some delicious Sweet Potato Ice Cream!

The Giant Buddha!

Again, the Giant Buddha... of DEWM!

Nifty stone tablet a little ways off of the Gaint Buddha, hidden under a small grove a trees.

The trees that hid the stone tablet... bark almost looked like muscle and sinew, too funky not to share.

Giant Buddha footwear... by Nike!

A park outside the base and along the bay, they do really fantastic landscaping here.

This is why they do not have guns here... because these things work 10 times better at killing you when you least expect it.

That yellow line?  Its everywhere on the sidewalks.  What is it for I hear you ask?  Its for the blind... and believe it or not... the entire thing is lined with a sort of brail, especially at the corners.  They think of everything for everyone here, I love it!

I go out to find some authentic Japanese cuisine and low and behold... the first place I find is this... the American Irish Pub... yeah... didn't get very far.  Ahem... :P

These are the Police Stations, they're called "Koban"s.  Yeah, not so intimidating eh?  But they're everywhere, which is nice.  And don't get into trouble with a police officer here, because as part of their duties they are required to know and practice two forms of martial arts...

"Everybody was Kung-fu fighting...

Those moves were as fast as lightning...

and it was almost frightening..."

The entrance to the mountainside temple at the end of the hidden alleyway, everywhere you go you really can make an adventure.

So there you have it... I went to Tokyo yesterday.  Was pretty awesome too, except we found ourselves in the middle of the uber high class shopping districe, nothing but Gucci, Chanel, Versace, Prada... even found a Tiffany's & Co. And again, instead of trying some awesome local authentic food... everyone wanted to go to Fridays... whew... burgers... and fries... yay.  Ah well.  I'll have some more pics later hopefully.  Until then, hasta luego.

I think it was the fourth of July.

So... woke up this morning in some sort of panic, an anxiety attack or something.  I don't know why, but sweating horribly while the ship's air conditioning is constantly blowing on me isn't a good sign I figure.  That plus the sudden jolt from a freaky awakening made me slam my head on the top of my two foot tall rack.  Then when I instinctively reached up with my hands to hold my bruised noggen, I slammed my fingers on one hand and the elbow on the other arm into the same metal ceiling... Gooooooooooooooood Mooooooorning, Vietnam!  Yeah, baby!

So here I am, about 6:30 am, already drenched in sweat and bruised, both my body and my pride, when I notice no one else is up.  After a minute of debating whether or not to start waking some of my buddies up, I realize its Saturday, one of the few days we actually have off this month.  So I take a shower, change into some shabby clothes (clean, but had been drenched the day before because of an intenst storm).  I decide to try to sit and relax for a spell our little lounge.

But, when I go in there, one of my unbearably moronic buddies (a good kid, but I truly think he bears a border line affliction of down syndrome), who wreaks from not taking a shower in the past 2-3 days, wants to start a conversation about the science of cigarrates, which means he's out and wants me to get some for him.  I sit down only to have some petty officer come and say smartly, "Can I have my seat back?", when there are 6 seats totally abandoned and alone, yearning for any sort of ass to hold.  Being tired and not wanting to argue I get off the only cushioned seat, the one next to him being cluttered with what I can only think are his cd's and other belongings.  Doesn't even say thanks, so I ask out of spite "Can you at least share?", which he says promptly, "No.".... after which he says something to the sort of I'm just joking and starts making gestures of clearing it, but I'm already heading out of the ship with my book in hand, not angry, just tired of even trying.

Thankfully, today was a reversal of the day before.  The sun was shining, a few clouds drifted by here and there, letting the grounds take a break every so often from the baking star.  I took off down to the local Rec Center to grab a little coffee and breakfast and break into my book.  There I meet up with a friend from bootcamp, a wiry little Puerto Rican who could benefit from some Ridalin maybe, but a good guy none-the-less.  He notices the book I'm reading and raves about it for the next 20 or so minutes, which I enjoy because it means I don't have to say much.  Then his friends come across and they talk of their plans, such as gaming together and watching anime... which I promptly find an excuse for me to leave.  As much as like games myself and scantaly clad anime girls, I can't stand talking, or even critisizing either for any length of time.

I sip my scrumtious coffee while I read my book for a bit.  About the coffee, I never really drank much of it at all until I came to Japan.  I don't know where my sudden taste came about, until a foreign national (or Japanese national, whichever you prefer), told me mostly all the coffee in Japan had a different ingredient than that in America... nicotine.  Mmm... not as bad as you think.  I believe they leave out all the other junk that the cigarretes have.

Then I decide to go to the NEX (Navy store) and shop for anything of interest.  I get there and nothing really interests me.  No games, no movies... nothing really new that I haven't seen before.  I came across Dawn of the Dead in the cheap bin and decided that watching a few people get devoured might brighten my day later.  Then I headed to the little section set aside for all their literature, mostly military and main stream america.  But you look hard enough you can find something that stands apart.  Even though I'm halfway into my current book, I found another, which really didn't interest me all that much but I didn't want to really leave empty handed.

After that I headed to Starbucks and got a Vanilla style coffee and dove back into my previous book.  After an hour there, I figured I could do with some fresh air and headed to the local park about a block away.  I sat along the bay and marveled how blue the water was today.  Usually it was a grey-brown and littered with trash, but today, it was pretty... nice.  I laid against a tree and jumped back into my book, looking up every once in awhile to observe the other people around me reveling in the sun and cool breeze.

Well, the sun was slowly setting, and my belly was rumbling.  So I figured it was time for brunch/dinner and headed to the food court.  There I snagged a Seafood Sensation sub at the Subway, because I've never seen it state side.  Met a cute girl with deep red hair next to me, and it was the first time I felt kind of good.  We said hello, smiled and laughed while the old Japanese ladies messed up our sandwiches, they laughed with us too, it was a good hearted time.

It was scrumptious and delicious to say the least.  After letting it settle and watching a cheesy crime show for a moment, I dove back into my book.  Once more she caught my eye and I her's as well.  Just kind of stared at one another, that almost akward glance which becomes a stare, you know the one?  Well, she smiled and turned out the door, glancing back once more before she left.  Brought my spirits up for a second until I realized how alone I was in Japan here.  Made me reflect on the girls I had dated in the past, none ever being ever producing any semi-good memories.

Then a buddy from the ship joined me, which surprised me.  We sat and couldn't even really hold small talk, just a couple of "Yups" and "Oh yeahs?" and then, akward silence.

Man, I realize that there is something wrong with me.  I don't know what, but it really dawns on me now.  I figured when I got depressed before, it was just something stupid, me getting a little childish, being jealous, something minute and fool hearty.  I figured all I had to do was just snap out of it, be a little spontaneous.  Which, now thinking of it, explains all the split second choices I've made.  Getting involved with that crazy girl once, my lavish spending on my 21st, the GTO, dropping it all and moving across the country... I think back now and seems like I've just been running.  And the last week on the ship here, I hit a low like never before.  Just.... blankness... not even depression... but, just... well, I don't know how to explain it, though I wish I could. 

All my buddies know there's something wrong obviously.  Take for example the Subway situation, I just can't hold a conversation.  I hit the regular depression, the panic attacks... then this hit.  Half the time I feel light headed, like you just experienced a rush of G'ees in a fast car going over a hill, that split second you come out of your seat a little.  The more I try to face it by talking to someone, the more that feeling comes over me and I never get the chance... I just brush it off and switch to talking about furthering my career.  Christ, I've become something I always looked down upon.  Mentaly unstable... great... and then I talk of it like this, as if I consciensly know whats wrong, which makes me wonder if there is anything really wrong or if I'm just exaggerating it in my own mind?  I don't know, I really just don't know.  And this is probably not the best place to be realizing this... if its anything at all.  I feel really alone right about now.

So it's final now.  I am being discharged from the United States Navy.  From what I've gathered, it will be at least a General (under honorable conditions), or an Honorable.  I've been labeled having a "Major Depression Disorder" and also clinically depressed.  Only thing really being the deciding point is my command.  I haven't put in a full year yet, but I have been an outstanding sailor, even amidst the funk I've been going through.  Soo... we'll see, it could be worse I suppose.

I am sort of glad that I am getting out.  The Navy has changed alot, resembles nothing of what the old timers tell you about.  I believe also it was because I was Forward Deployed, but every single day I've been here, I've heard 99% of sailors say they wish to get out.  You've got to admit, when you over hear a few Chiefs (the bosses of the enlisted crews) talk about wanting to get out, thats not got to be a good sign.

Plus, I tried working out a plan with everyone about getting a new school and a new career other than where they tossed me, and that didn't work out.  It was all up in the air no matter how much I tried to get things going down a certain path, and I was really flexible. 

Tomorrow is Sunday though... and I must do the daunting task of telling the rest of my family (socalchris and tattooedjen already know, because they are the freaking coolest siblings a guy could ask for).  I've been saving up a lot of money though, so at least I'll be able to keep up on alot of my bills when I get out and search for a new job.  I even passed up going out and getting a semi-free "massagi" (I think you can gather what thats all about :P) just so I didn't have to worry about getting all stupid drunk and pulling out more money later.  Fuck... what is this responsibility shit?  It's overrated, but if my brothers and sister can do it, I suppose so can I.

Next plan is to sell the car (might have a new buyer for it, we'll see!) still, get a job and save a lil more money, but a computer if I can (probably build one), then get all the scholarship money I can for college.  I know there are hundred's upon thousands of scholarships, all it takes is some work and patience.  Whew... alright then, thats all I've got.  Hasta luego

What a day, was up at 5 am trying to get everything packed up and ready.  Everyone else was hustling cause we were to get underway early, first ones outta the port.  Basically threw it all together and right after I stepped off the brow they took it down.  Was kind of sad to see some of my new buddies take off, but hey, could be worse... I could've been with them. ;)

Well, I get the the TPU where I'm supposed to stay until Saturday, and they won't check me in because my ship basically shoved me off without orders.  And they had just taken off.  Yeah... then they tried putting me right to work even after I sat and explained to them that I only had about 4 days to get all my stuff ready to go from scratch!  Egads man, I can't wait to blow this popsicle stand.

Right now I'm debating whether or not to head to Chicago and life with my mother a bit, or to go and crash with my sister for a stint.  The mother route is the safest, something to fall back with what little I got, but sis's seems like the brighter choice... away from family, some good colleges, some haze induced "good times" ;P ... california still.  Hmm... doesn't actually seem too hard, does it?

Heheh... I'm watching a bit of "Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift" or whatever... and I'm seeing these parties with all these crazy, sleazy Japanese chicas tripped out and getting dirty.  Had to laugh, even the red light district in Rapungi isn't like that... not that I would know.  I must have missed out on those cool kids parties!  Gosh... idiot!

Oh man, I can't wait.  Leave Saturday for Bangor, WA... then after that, tattooedjen's place for a stint.  I can't wait to get back home.  Egads it will be nice... so nice... no more shaving... no more worrying about uniforms, CALLING IN SICK!  Yes... and lots of drinking without worrying of on consequences of the next day... oh yes, it will be good.

Until I get another job. :P

I was checking out the local school, Humboldt University, and they have a ton of courses that seem really interesting, I can't make up my mind, how about you guys, tell me what I should take!  Here they are for your viewing pleasure:

Biology: Special Major?
Cellular/Molecular Biology
Conversation Biology/Applied Vertebrate Ecology
Cultural Studies
Ecology
Environmental Biology
Environmental Technology
Environmental Toxicology
Ethnic Studies
European Studies
Forest Hydrology
Forest Soils
Globilization Studies
Microbiology
Wildland Soil Science

Just a few eh?

If its the last thing we ever do.

We gotta get outta this place,

Girl there's a better life, for me and you.

Oh man, I'm just chilling at the rec center, researching some more college and application of VA benefits, when all of a sudden a yelping "NO!" bitch slaps my concentration off to Kukomunga.  Seems like a couple of computers down a guy is talking to his girlfriend on his phone while surfing myspace.com for other girls, I have spectacular peripheral vision.  Listen to what ensued:

"You mean the love message I texted?   I didn't mean it like that!  No, honest kitten.  Baby, I meant it in a good way.  Baby girl, what do you mean?  Girl, I didn't mean it like that.  I didn't mean it like.  No, I didn't mean it like that.  What do you mean?..."

And so on and so forth for about 5 minutes straight.  That oh-so-sincere voice slowly grinding away at my nerves like a cheese grader slowly shredding on my spine.  Then he picks up the phone and calls her again, listen to the early morning Tuesday soap opera unfold:

"What does that mean?  I just read it on your myspace!  Look, its say right here, 'spill your guts'!  What does that mean?  What do you mean I'm not trustworthy?  I always trust you, baby girl.  What?  No, I just miss you when your gone.  Thats why I ask all the time.  What?"  Once again, all this and that ever so whiney, sincere voice again... and it drones on, and on, and on.

And to the other computer, I've a guy bad mouthing his girlfriend, hoping she'd break a leg because she's always on the fucking computer, chatting away with her friends... as he's on a computer... chatting... away... with friends?

And then, as the great Lewis Black said, is when I took a spoon and shoved it up my ass.  Why?  So the pain would distract me from the stupidity I was surrounded by.

I go to drink and hope I can get outta here in time for Halloween!  Or before I find another spoon.

I've been talking to this chick for a little bit now (couple o weeks), started as getting some info for college and now has blossomed into full blown giggle romance daunted by raunchy flirtation... I haven't felt like this since I was in High School. Yes, I am a dork, and totally proud of it! ;)

I also got the hook up at the local Family Service Center to get my resume all edited and unlimited free use of that nice 100% fine cotton, business paper on to which I may print oodles o' copies from.  Sweeeet.

I saw a pristine looking Delorean sitting for sale outside the base's NEX (aka mall).  Totally wicked sweetness.

I've been keeping up with my workout, usually now is the time I always fall out of my well meaning endeavor, but oh no, not this time.  Yay...

And I almost got attacked by family of wild racoons which I'll have to go through again after I post this... life is goot.  Just wanted to gloat for ya, that all!

Alright... change of plans. I'm not coming home. Not permanently I mean, just not the Saturday night we had planned. It wasn't my fault! Well, actually it was, but lemme explain, please? <:(

Alright, I went in, all my stuff packed, ready to sign the dotted line of my DD-214. Here's a real quick explanation of what that is. It's a form stating I worked for the military, what I medals and commendations I earned, my time, my score (1-5), training I had, and most importantly, what sort of discharge I recieved and explanation.

Well, they've been putting in Fraudulent Entry into the Navy, and when I asked about that, they said it was same meaning of Erroneous entry, that it was used to explain both, obviously since I was recieving honorable conditions. Sounded good to me and I rolled with it.

My first appointment, I asked to what my seperation code was (the code that explains what you were getting discharged for was), they showed me and I asked if he know what it was. He said to me "Well, it means... fraudulent... discharge. Yeah.", of course then I asked if he was sure and he checked for me. Ends up the code that was put in was "Misconduct in Service" or something of the like... not good obviously. He said he was sorry and they fixed it. I watched him type in the Fraudulent discharge, which was better (well, as good as it can be for such a negative word as 'fraudulent').

So today was supposed to be my final appointment when I signed off, stating everything was peachy keen and the sent me packing on my happy little way home, right? I go in, I watch him pull up everything on his computer and then he gets to the DD214 again and starts adding to my Fraudulent entry, which I don't think nothing of at first. Well, after he'd stop typing I glance at it again and low and behold, he'd added in parentheses "Excessive Alcohol Abuse"... yeah. So right about then I pull the "Whoa whoa whoa the fuck on!", and get a few raised heads in my direction. I tell him that I had no alcohol problems what-so-ever, that alcohol has nothing to do with my discharge. He explains to me that thats the only kind of fraudulent discharge they have, don't worry. I warily go along with it, until he starts again and I picture myself at a job interview...

The Man: "So, you got discharged from the Navy for concealing alcohol abuse. Can you explain that?"
Mwah: "Well, thats not correct. I actually got discharged for something I did when I was a kid, and I was to proud to admit I had done it."
The Man: "Ah, so you're saying the Navy is lying?"
Mwah: "No! I'm just saying that its an error."
The Man: "Mm hmm... so you're not concealing anything now?"
Mwah: "No, I'm just trying to explain..."
The Man: "Terrific! We'll give you a call later."
Mwah: "Damn you Navy! You scurvy shiester bastards!"

Yeah... so I asked to see the book of discharge codes, which he happily provided and went along his merry way finishing off the final documentation. After looking through the book, not only did I find the Fraudulent Discharge in which I was not associated with drug/alcohol abuse... but I also found the Erroneous Discharge that supposedly didn't exist! So I showed him that, said at the very, very least, the Fruadulent needed to be turned around.

Well, so much for short explanation... anyway, in the end, it ends up being a total cluster fuck in which I have to try to contact my ship after the weekend, Monday morning. A ship which is already out to sea and may be on a classified mission, which if thats the case, my chances to get ahold of them soon are slim to none. And here I sit... yay.

Moral of this story is to never where white after Labor Day... chew on that for awhile!

Soo... I bought a calling card for 300 minutes today, because:

1) I needed to try to call the moving company that is holding my poccessions hostage... alas, they've always been busy when I try to call em... bastages.

2) I figure I would be able to call my sister when I got some info on what happens with the whole crazy discharge thing.

3) And I was going to call the totally awesome girl today that I promised I'd give a buzz.

Soo... yeah, I spent the entire card talking to that oh so wonderful, whacky, spectacular, vivacious chick today.  Five hours straight on the phone, wow... I am such a sap.  Sorry Jen, I'll still give you a call regardless... maybe.! :P

You know, sometimes that can be so true.

So today was the finale in my "trying to organize my discharge or the universe will collapse upon itself" ordeal.  Here's a little catch up incase you hadn't been following...

I was getting everything set up with my discharge clerk, and about to sign the final dotted line releasing me into the wilds once more when I asked him if he knew for sure what my discharge codes stood for on the DD-214 (the ultimate sheet you'll need after the military, the one HR's look at when applying for a job, the mother load, the big one, the hot tamale, and so on).  He said no, and therefor looked it up.

He then came back and said something to the like of "You were right, it was wrong.  We had you being expelled for "Periods of Misconduct" almost." and then proceeded to correct it.  After he finished typing it, I spyed over his shoulder with my little eye "Excessive Alcohol Abuse"... yeah, that was not just going to cut.  Because everyone knows I don't abuse alcohol... I caress it if anything... mmm...

So, they said it was totally FUBARed and needed the higher ups to fix, which had all left and wouldn't return until Monday.  Shibby.

Well, over the weekend, I had found not only the correction to the seperation code... but the exact one that truely did fit my discharge, the one they had told me did not exist!  So I told the Senior my story come Monday, and he began typing to the ship when I whipped out a letter that really didn't have much to do with the discharge authority at all, but really sounded swell.  And Wa-bam!  The "Fraudulent Enlistment into the Navy" was replaced with "Erroneous Entry" with a definition that sounded oh, so much more warmer and pleasent.

Now I brace to get the ticket home tomorrow... and the 1 1/2 day bus ride that ensues.  Whew!

HA!  So I go in for my 3rd and final appointment (yeah right, huh?), and I sit for about 6 hours waiting for everything.  Well it all checks out and they hand me my ticket at 3:30, telling me my bus takes of from Seattle at 5:00... and Seattle is about 2 1/2 hours away.  Sooo.... good luck!

Yeah, whoo!  Good thing is the ticket can be used as a voucher (or is a voucher, I'm not quite sure how this confounded bus thing works), so I can use it for the bus tomorrow night.  BUT... (sorry Jen), that means I won't get in until 10:20... Thursday night.  Don't hurt me! :)

This one is etched in stone though, I swear!  Honest!  Not like those other times I swore, this ones for real!